Devotion
by Laryna6
Summary: Various character's thoughts on Yami on various occasions. Starts with Yugi vs. Kaiba at Duelist Kingdom. Rating for language.
1. Resignation

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh. Although I wouldn't mind Yami & Yugi plushies.  
  
This could be interpreted as one-sided YY/Y, if you're inclined that way. I know I am! Depends if you consider there to be a difference between love and devotion.  
  
Devotion  
  
It's all right.  
  
I'd rather have it this way.  
  
It's better that he hates me than hate himself.  
  
It's all my fault anyway.  
  
I promised myself that I would help him become strong, that I would teach him, that I would be his partner, not his owner.  
  
Even though I want to keep him young and innocent and...weak, forever. So that he'll need me forever.  
  
He gave me life and thought and hope, and I have nothing else to give him but protection.  
  
I owe him everything. He should be showered with gold and gems, held safe in a palace, worshipped as a god for his purity and kindness.  
  
But I am only a poor, lost soul, and I can give him nothing, only take. Take breath and word and action in his place. Steal them. I tell myself I do it for him, but...  
  
But am I doing it only for myself? I want so much to live, am I stealing his life?  
  
He's lost so much because of me. Sure, I may have protected him and his friends from a few bullies, but the greatest tragedy of his young life has been because of me.  
  
Pegasus stole his grandfather's soul. No, that's not the truth. He won it. From me. Because I wasn't good enough. Because he wanted the Millennium Puzzle. Wanted me.  
  
He could have taken me then. I don't know much, but somehow it come to me that although it would be a rather fatal idea to steal me, he who defeats me owns me.  
  
Owns me. Am I a slave? The slave of the puzzle, like the genies in the stories I see in Yugi's memory?  
  
It would be all right to be a slave, as long as I am Yugi's.  
  
But I might not be for very long, and perhaps it is for the best. If I am gone from him, than he will not be in danger from me any more.  
  
Danger. From me. I don't want to fail him any more.  
  
Pegasus wants to hurt him. I could see it in his eyes. There is within him, behind his clownish mask, a despair as deep as my own. As though he too has failed someone he loves, and fears he cannot make it up, but would kill himself to try.  
  
When his gaze lingers on the puzzle, there is longing in his eyes. He needs it. It is the key to his black heart's desire. He would kill for it without hesitation. He would cause pain to gain it with glee.  
  
He is hurt, and misery loves company, as Yugi has said. I only wish he did not wish my partner...No, I have no right to call him that...Yugi, to suffer with him.  
  
This sick game he plays with Kaiba: it's so transparent.  
  
Pegasus possesses a Millennium Item. It has the power to read minds and transport people to the Shadow Realm. If he can do this to me, who am a part of a Millennium Item, it'd be simple to do it to Kaiba.  
  
I know somehow that the shadow realm is dangerous, though there is no peril to me in it. But an unprepared soul would be lost in its depths.  
  
If Kaiba duels Pegasus, he will lose. All Pegasus has to do is wait until the first time Kaiba draws, and transport him to the Shadow Realm then.  
  
His soul would be sucked out of his body, right into Pegasus' hands. And Kaiba's hand would fall atop his deck, signaling surrender.  
  
That isn't the way it will be however. Pegasus wants to play. Wants others to suffer as much as he is. He'll play with Kaiba, give him hope.  
  
I don't want to see this. But I'll have to. Any clues I can gain about the nature of Pegasus' powers and strategies...  
  
In the end, however, Kaiba will lose his soul. And Pegasus' powers will increase.  
  
Ironic, isn't it? By fighting to save his little brother from Pegasus, Kaiba has made it harder for anyone to rescue him, by making Pegasus stronger. Pegasus must be laughing his head off.  
  
Pegasus, I think I hate you.  
  
I knew all this, and yet I still let Kaiba go to this fate, doom Mokuba when he was willing to lose his life to save him.  
  
It's all my fault. All my fault.  
  
All because I was so used to being in command, to making all the decisions in duels, that I didn't tell the one I want to call my partner what I planned.  
  
All because all my efforts, all my attempts at repayment, hadn't been enough to show him I would not harm anyone innocent.  
  
All because in my fear that he would fear me, I hadn't let him know the extent of my powers.  
  
All because I hadn't ever truly talked to him, not telling him what to do in a duel, but as equals.  
  
All because I'm not worthy of him.  
  
If I was, he would have known I was capable of stopping Kaiba from falling off the ledge, as I stopped Panik's flames from touching us.  
  
If I was, I would have told him that I intended to do that, instead of just charging ahead without consulting him.  
  
If I was worthy of his trust, he would have trusted me.  
  
When he told me to stop, I was shocked. I obeyed without thought. At least I'm not in the habit of consciously going against his wishes.  
  
Perhaps I should have stayed in control, carried out my plan, proved to him that he could trust me.  
  
It's too late now.  
  
Kaiba is doomed, and it's all my fault.  
  
Yugi hates me, no worse: fears me, and it's all my fault.  
  
At first, I tried to tell him he was wrong, that I never intended to kill Kaiba.  
  
He shut me out. And thank god.  
  
Because the pain he's feeling now is nothing next to that he would be feeling.  
  
Because even though it is all my fault, he would blame himself for Kaiba's fate.  
  
More that that: even though I am not worthy of it, he thinks of me, well, used to think of me, as somewhat of a friend.  
  
What kind of friend assumes that someone who has never done anything not meant to help them is a murderer?  
  
But... I am.  
  
So, it is right that he hates me.  
  
I deserve it.  
  
All I want, is that he not hate himself.  
  
I don't mind.  
  
...It's all my fault.  
  
Author's Note: First fic, if you review I will love you forever, but if you flame I expect you to pay my hospital bills: I am violently allergic to stupidity. If you like Y/Y I have a huge collection, look in my favorite authors and stories. 


	2. Resolution

Disclaimer: Let me check...No, I still don't own Yu-gi-oh. And where are my plushies?  
  
I'm using English names because I prefer the name Tea to Anzu, so sue me. I like her even if they do screw her over in the lines department.  
  
As requested, here's Yugi's pov. Enjoy.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Devotion:  
  
I can't believe it.  
  
I won't believe it.  
  
I must believe it.  
  
How could he?  
  
How could I have let him?  
  
I could feel him when he decided to do it: he's been letting me stay awake when he's in control since Death-T.  
  
I thought that meant...  
  
I don't know what I thought.  
  
When Kaiba threatened to jump, I was shocked and horrified. I didn't know what to do.  
  
He did.  
  
I felt...admiration, for a split second. Like he admired Kaiba's determination to save Mokuba, then sadness for Kaiba, or did I feel that?  
  
It was only for an instant. Maybe I'm just projecting. Hoping he felt even an instant of remorse. Hoping this...thing in my head isn't a completely cold- blooded murderer.  
  
Then...amusement. Like this was nothing to him, something that he could handle with one hand tied behind his back.  
  
It was then he seemed to know I was unhappy, that I didn't know what to do, and he sent a feeling of reassurance, like he's done so many times before when I've lost faith.  
  
Like a smile, a brief hug: we can do this, everything's fine, better than fine, we've won.  
  
And I believed him, like I had every time before. But this wasn't like the other times.  
  
I sat back and waited for him to finish, listened...not exactly calmly, but close, too close, when he called the attack. I trusted him.  
  
I was willing to let him do what he wanted.  
  
I was willing to let the spirit kill Kaiba.  
  
Oh god, what I nearly did.  
  
Thank god for Tea.  
  
If she hadn't called out, hadn't reminded me that this was wrong, I would have sit back and let the spirit kill Kaiba.  
  
Well, actually, Kaiba would have killed himself, but the spirit would have caused him to do it...perhaps that's why he didn't see it was wrong? After all, the blood wouldn't have been on his hands, it's not his fault if Kaiba decides to do something stupid...  
  
Here I am making excuses for him again.  
  
I don't want to believe that this...presence, this person inside of me, the one who's protected me and my friends against bullies, helped me make my friends, gotten me this far on the island, this close to rescuing my grandfather...I don't want to believe that it's all been an act.  
  
All the times he's reassured me, cheered on Joey, that time he gave all those star chips to Mai when they were enough to get us into the castle...I thought he was a nice person, that I could trust him.  
  
Trust him to win no matter what.  
  
Is that all it's been? Winning?  
  
Is that all you think of me as, a body to use to amuse yourself by grinding others into the dust?  
  
I thought we were friends.  
  
Until after I stopped you.  
  
When you handed over the body to me right away, I thought you had listened to Tea, realized that what you wanted to do was wrong.  
  
Then I heard you.  
  
Why...why did you do that? We would have won...  
  
You had no idea. No idea that ending another's life was wrong.  
  
Oh god, what are you?  
  
What am I, to almost let you...  
  
I can never duel again.  
  
That's the thought that's resounding in my head, drowning out Tea's words of concern, Joey's attempts to get me back on my feet...  
  
I look up and Kaiba's gone, I don't know when he left. Off to rescue Mokuba. I hope he can beat Pegasus; Mokuba doesn't deserve to be trapped forever like Grandpa...  
  
Oh Grandpa.  
  
Now I can't rescue you.  
  
When the spirit reassured me, he showed me you. Told me that we would rescue you, that Kaiba wouldn't stop us.  
  
Now we don't have enough star chips to get into the castle, and even if I could get in I can't. I can never duel again.  
  
What if next time... the spirit has powers, I know that. What if he decides to kill his opponent. Kill...Joey?  
  
Before, I knew he would never do anything like that. I thought he liked Joey, wanted to help him. He gave him advice: did he do it only to win through him?  
  
Joey still has ten star chips. He can get into the castle, try to save his sister Serenity's sight like I've failed to save my Grandpa. What if I duel him?  
  
Will the spirit see him as just another obstacle, like Kaiba? Someone whose life is unimportant?  
  
I'm kneeling in front of the castle door, I have no idea how I got here. All I can feel is tears slipping down my cheeks, all I can sense in my heart is black despair, no more gentle questioning, no more shock.  
  
The spirit must have closed himself away again, like he does whenever I'm not dueling.  
  
I thought he did it because he respected my privacy, but was I just boring him? Not important unless there's a duel to be won?  
  
If he cared, he would be trying, at least, to understand why I'm mad at him.  
  
Trying to understand that what he did was wrong.  
  
Maybe even apologizing, like a decent person who cared about my opinion would.  
  
I would forgive him, if he asked. Even after all he's done, I still want to trust him: want to believe it wasn't a lie, want to believe he cares about me.  
  
Want to give him another chance... another chance to kill.  
  
I can't let him.  
  
I won't let him.  
  
I must stop him from hurting anyone else.  
  
I ought to take apart the puzzle.  
  
But...wouldn't that kill him?  
  
I can't lower myself to his level.  
  
Even to possibly save a life, I can't kill.  
  
All I can do is what I did during that duel. Try to hold him back.  
  
I don't know if I can.  
  
I don't know if I will.  
  
Even after all this, I still care about him, want to believe in him like I thought he believed in me.  
  
Huh, maybe I, not Joey, am the puppy dog here. Slavish devotion, wanting to come back to the master, get his approval, even after being kicked.  
  
Oh god, what am I going to do?  
  
I'm sorry Grandpa. I've failed you. Failed everyone.  
  
I'm sorry.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Thanks to SoulDreamer and Ash for reviewing! I plan to do at least two more chapters of this, so comments appreciated. Thanks, and I hope you liked it! 


	3. Pride

Yes, I am being sadistic and doing other characters before returning to Y&Y! Sorry!  
  
Disclaimer: Look, if I owned Yu-gi-oh Tea would be torturing the anime writers for not giving her decent lines. Well, at least she gets to do cool acrobatics. Even if Malik is controlling her. Beat that, Jackie Chan! If they cut that out of the dub I will have Cosmo Queen vaporize them!  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
What the hell just happened?  
  
That Yugi-punk had Kaiba right where he wanted him.  
  
Heh, I owe that flunky of Pegasus's for telling me about this. This is more entertaining than beating up Bones and those other dweebs was! Idiots. Getting into the castle on my coattails?  
  
Well, that way I would have known I would have had no trouble getting to duel Pegasus.  
  
Not that I will anyway.  
  
Pegasus, I'm coming for you. I'll get you for what you did to me. I know a cheat when I see one. There's no way you could have known what card I was about to play! Humiliating me like that...how dare you!  
  
Me! The American champion! Reduced to this...  
  
Now the punk's down on his knees and he's sobbing something. Man, that chick must have given Kaiba a piece of her mind! Look at his face! Wish I could have heard that. Oh well.  
  
But still...  
  
It's just weird.  
  
One minute he's going all out, the next he's backed down and is on the ground.  
  
He's still in shock. Pathetic! What a wimp.  
  
Heh, that was smart of Kaiba. Almost worthy of me. Getting up on that ledge, slashing his hand across his throat...wonder what's at stake here, that Yugi would take that bluff of his seriously?  
  
Maybe it wasn't a bluff. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but I can see their faces pretty well. Making out an opponent's hand backwards in a well-placed mirror really does wonders for your eyesight, heh heh heh. The look in Kaiba's eyes when Yugi pulled that move...  
  
What'd Pegasus do to him, that'd he'd be that desperate to get into the castle?  
  
Oh, well. Not my problem. That Yugi-punk is good, but if he can take down Kaiba when Kaiba has that much of an advantage, it'll be no problem with my bag of tricks.  
  
Pegasus, here I come, you mthrfckr. You'll get yours.  
  
Still, what's with that Yugi punk? One minute it's 'Scrw you, Kaiba. I don't give a sht about your worthless ss,' the next he's sobbing like a little kid.  
  
Wait a minute...  
  
When Bones was fighting the mutt...  
  
Maybe it's just a game face. Yeah, right. You don't want to look like a little kid when you're dueling.  
  
But you don't get as great as I am without being able to see your opponents weaknesses, how you can reduce him to the crying little wimp he is.  
  
When Yugi came into the cave, I could smell blood, fresh meat. A pushover. Then he starts talking to the mutt, and...  
  
He still acted nice, but underneath that mask...  
  
I know a killer when I see one. That punk's not scared of anything. He sized me up and just dismissed me, ME, as nothing. Even when I caught on he was looking me over and tried to freak him out. He just rolled his eyes and turned back to the mutt like I wasn't worthy of his precious time.  
  
That innocent look's just a mask. It's almost...  
  
What am I saying! There's no way that punk's gotten to me like that! I'm not scared of him! I'm not!  
  
Anyways...why'd someone like that break down?  
  
It's just a game face. Heh, punk, trying to act all tough but can't handle the real thing? Too soft to do what it takes to win?  
  
I used to be weak like you. Then I got wise. Winning's the only important thing.  
  
Someday you're going to realize those cronies of yours are just scenery, dmn worthless fools.  
  
Someday that hard look in your eyes might be for real.  
  
Someday I might have competition.  
  
Heh.  
  
Bring it on, punk.  
  
I'll take down Pegasus, and I can take down you, little crybaby.  
  
Nobody beats me.  
  
Nobody.  
  
...  
  
...  
  
Right, nobody.  
  
Sht.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Sorry about the dmn asterisks, but I don't want to bother raising the rating.  
  
It's obvious who this is, right? Even without the hints? Tell me I've got the character right. I haven't seen anything with this guy, so I wanted to try him first. Let me know how I did, ok? It's about 1, I'll do another chapter in the morning. Tea, Tristan, Joey, Ryou, Bakura, Kaiba and Pegasus to go, then we move on. Any votes on the order?  
  
See ya! 


	4. Frustration

As requested, Joey. But I don't think I will do Tea next, sorry. In my opinion, she's the one who knows the most (besides Pegasus) about what's really going on, so I want to do her last. Pegasus's probably second to last, and Kaiba right before him. Probably Tristan next. Any objections?  
  
Oh yeah, and as you can probably tell, I'm doing this from memory. I should wait to do anymore 'till after watching the episode again, but don't worry, I have it! If there are any errors, I probably won't fix them immediately unless they're major. I have a good memory for thing I'm obsessed with, though.  
  
Disclaimer: Look, if I owned Yu-gi-oh, Kaiba's the one who would have ended up in a doggy suit.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Go Yug! Wipe the floor with that Kaiba!  
  
Yeah, he's just bluffin'. No way he cares enough about anyone to do that. Not like I care about my little sis...what a cheap trick.  
  
Wha...why are you yelling at him Tea?  
  
Wha...why'd you stop, Yug? You HAD that cheating sob.  
  
I mean, it's bad that Pegasus has his little bro.  
  
I mean, I don' like Mokuba much, what with him tryin' to poison me an' all, but he did tell that guard who was about to shoot us to knock it off. And he did save Tristan from those blocks.  
  
Even so, it was real underhanded, what I'd expect of a Kaiba, to steal that poor kid's star chips and get him tossed off the island, but he did do it to help out his bro.  
  
Ya gotta admire that. I mean, Kaiba's a complete jerk, and Mokuba should hate his guts after that 'penalty game' thing with the holographic monsters at Death-T.  
  
I wonder what the heck that was all about?  
  
Doing something like that to your own flesh and blood? That's why I hate Kaiba.  
  
Having Mokuba lure us over by pretending to be friendly; threaten us to get Yugi's Gramps to duel him an' lose that card his friend gave to him; nearly kill him with that holo thing when he lost; and then rip up that card?  
  
That's really low.  
  
That's why he ticks me off so much. I mean, callin' me a dog? Where do you get off, you son of a btch?  
  
I was holding it in 'till then.  
  
Yug doesn't like fighting, and he was being all nice to Kaiba, giving him his deck like that...  
  
I remember him saying something to Mokuba after he dueled Kiaba at Death-T, something about Kaiba finding hisself or something? Something about a puzzle?  
  
I donno.  
  
Anyways, Yug seemed to think Kaiba had changed. Yug's a pretty good judge of people, an' Kaiba didn't need me raggin' on him what with his brother an' all.  
  
"You will be compensated for your services."  
  
That bastard. Sayin' that to Yug.  
  
I lost it. My mom always used to tell me to ignore jerks like that, they aren' worth my time, but I let him get to me.  
  
An' then I got my butt kicked. Way to go Joey. He'll listen to you now.  
  
What the heck's all this? Yug has another spirit inside him? Like you? What are you talkin' about, Ryou?  
  
Wait a sec.  
  
That dream.  
  
Me the Flame Swordsman, in that darn dress. Why do I like a card with a dress? Red Eyes is way cooler.  
  
Knocking out Tris' ta' save him from getting sacrificed by...  
  
Big Yugi. 'The cool one up there.' Fightin'...another Ryou?  
  
It's crazy, but...  
  
It explains a lot.  
  
Why little Yug' sometimes seems all serious all of a sudden. One sec he's doing the smart thing an' turning down Kaiba's challenge, the next he's ready to go.  
  
What Tristan said when I asked why Yug was dueling Mokuba in disguise when we could have jus' beat him up and taken back that poor kid's star chips.  
  
"Dude, sometimes I don't think even Yugi knows why he does half the stuff he does."  
  
It makes too much sense.  
  
Wha!  
  
You're never going to duel again?  
  
But...what about Gramps?  
  
I mean, he is a hard case, but I owe him. It's because of his training that I made it this far, this close to savin' my sis.  
  
An' he's Yug's grampa!  
  
You're just going to give up?  
  
What happened to the Yug' I know?  
  
The one who tried to protect Tris' an' me from that Ushio jerk?  
  
The one who doesn't give up even when that jerk Kaiba seems unbeatable?  
  
The one who goes to the arcade with me?  
  
The one who tells me not to lose faith, an' gives me hints, jus' hints, not orders, when it seems like I'm screwd?  
  
The little guy I look up to?  
  
If there are two Yugis, which is my friend?  
  
The cool one, or the puny one?  
  
If the puny one is the real Yug, an' the cool one is like some demon possessin' him or something,' am I betrayin' Yug by admiring him?  
  
Damn you Kaiba.  
  
Things were fine until you showed up. We were getting into the castle, we knew nothin' would stop us from helpin' our families...  
  
Until you showed up.  
  
Come on, Yug, you can't let him do this to ya.  
  
Dmn, why am I doin' this to Yug? It's Kaiba I want to strangle.  
  
And now Mai thinks I'm psycho. Way to go, Joey.  
  
Dmn you, Kaiba.  
  
Dmn you.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Author's notes: Sorry Sansi, I knew should have made this more clear, but I had to stick with Yugi's pov. Yami has not sealed himself off from Yugi. He probably should have, but he's too distraught to. The reason Yugi is feeling only despair is that that's what Yami's feeling too. He's not really accustomed to telling the difference between their feelings. So, both he and Yami are miserable because of what just happened, Yugi is worse because he thinks Yami is ignoring him, Yami is worse because he thinks Yugi doesn't want to talk to him...their misery is a vicious circle. I knew when I wrote that that I could confuse people, sorry.  
  
Here's my policy on review acknowledgements: I'm going to try put them at the end of the next chapter of that story I write, unless I've got a time limit, in which case it will be the one after that. I'm going to put them at the end to encourage you to read the whole thing, not that you need encouragement. ;)  
  
Dorie Kaiba: Hello!!!! Did you like the pix?  
  
Smilely Face Mel: I liked your story, and thanks for e-mailing me to, that was nice.  
  
Sansi: Thanks for reminding me not everyone got that. Some people did get it, right? Tell I didn't write it totally opaquely (sorry, I use big words).  
  
SilverLily aka Blood Moon: Glad you liked the reviews; I really like your stories, new chapter soon? Great!!!!! Thanks for the e-mail. Sorry, I'll try to get through all the others soon so we can get to the important part. I was thinking of doing a monologue with quotes from Yami's pov, should I do another conversation piece?  
  
Amber Eyes: Thanks for the suggestion, I was thinking of doing Kaiba next and that wouldn't have worked. I want to do in decreasing order of cluelessness.  
  
IMPORTANT!!!!!!: Ok, to explain things: I'm doing this midway between the manga and the anime. Death-T happened, but the others did not find out about Yami then. The other stuff happened too, except they meet Bakura at Duelist Kingdom instead of in the Monster World RPG. Any questions? 


	5. Cognition

Gods, this is my third chapter in 17 hours. I'm going to try for four today!  
  
Also done without watching the episodes. Sorry!  
  
Disclaimer: Do I own Yu-gi-oh? Were the animators paying any attention to Yami's personality in the Rafael duel? The answer is...NO!  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
I'm not as surprised as I should be.  
  
Things have been strange since we met Yugi.  
  
I mean, Yugi goes to get those shoes back and the next thing he knows the shoes are in his hands and the shop owner's going to the hospital for a scorpion sting?  
  
That jerk who held Tea hostage has Yugi bring him a drink and some cigs, and some guy challenges him to a game and he sets himself on fire?  
  
At that dance studio Yugi found for Tea, they both get knocked out.  
  
Tea says when she woke up, the mugger was on the ground and Yugi was asking if she was ok.  
  
Yugi's version was that when he came to Tea was already on her feet.  
  
I mean, there's such a thing as a concussion, right? It's natural Yugi could have been a little woozy.  
  
I guess not.  
  
What Ryou said, about Yugi having another spirit inside him...  
  
It explains too much.  
  
Like that weird dream: I remembered hurting like hell when the White Magical Hat killed me. I remember it was freezing in that graveyard.  
  
You're not supposed to feel things in dreams.  
  
But I could have dreamt I felt it.  
  
I remember two Yugis. The big one up there, and one in the Dark Magician card.  
  
I remember the confidant voice of Yugi telling Kaiba he'd never back down.  
  
I remember the desperate voice of Yugi telling the Celtic Guardian to stop.  
  
I remember Yugi gently convincing me to come back when I stormed off in a huff and left Joey to battle Rex Raptor.  
  
I remember Yugi confidently supporting Joey, giving the hint he needed to win against Mai.  
  
I remember the way the big Yugi looked at the little one, in the dream that wasn't.  
  
Joey asked the question that was on my mind when I came back from the graveyard.  
  
If you're here, who is that?  
  
If our Yugi is the one who stopped the attack, who or what is the other one?  
  
That other spirit of Bakura's was nasty as hell. He told us what he was going to do to Yugi, asked which of us wanted to die first.  
  
I mean, man-eater bug. Who would use a card like that in real life?  
  
Is the other one like that as well?  
  
I mean, he was willing to kill Kaiba.  
  
But...  
  
I remember how he looked at Yugi when Yugi said he didn't know who he was. The way he cocked his head to the side and said, "Don't you?" Affectionatly, teasingly.  
  
I remember the panic in his voice when Yugi attacked the electric lizard.  
  
I saw how he looked when Yugi got shocked: like he felt every sting. Like he blamed himself.  
  
When Joey yelled at him to sacrifice him to destroy the man-eater bug, he didn't want to do it, then he nodded, acknowledging Joey's bravery, and did it.  
  
When the other spirit taunted him with his plan to use change of heart on Yugi, his voice when he said "Leave the young one out of this."  
  
Young one? And why would he care if we were just pieces in a game/  
  
And his voice...steel and stone, but underneath that...fear. Fear of losing? No. I've seen him duel, I know now. He's proven he will not give up till the bitter end.  
  
Fear...for Yugi.  
  
And what the other spirit said...  
  
The other Yugi's purpose is to protect Yugi? To guide him?  
  
It fits. It explains so much.  
  
Then...why?  
  
Why attack Kaiba?  
  
That's obvious as well.  
  
Yugi needs his grandpa. Therefore, he needs to duel Pegasus to win him back.  
  
Kaiba was an obstacle.  
  
Kaiba was willing to sacrifice himself, like Joey was, to save his brother.  
  
And like he did Joey, the spirit took him up on it.  
  
That's cold. Harsh. But...  
  
If he can take over Yugi and make him forget it, than he could have prevented Yugi from taking back his body in order to stop the attack.  
  
But he didn't.  
  
He yielded to Yugi in a split second.  
  
Yugi is afraid his spirit is like Ryou's. That he's willing to kill to win, no matter what Yugi wants.  
  
He may be willing to kill, but he's just proven that Yugi doesn't need to worry.  
  
Yugi's afraid. Terrified. He doesn't need to be.  
  
I'd tell him that, but what do I know?  
  
Yugi's the one who's got this spirit in his head. He knows it better than anyone. He doesn't need my advice on how to handle it.  
  
Maybe the spirit was just surprised that Yugi defied him.  
  
I don't know.  
  
I hope I'm right and Yugi can duel and rescue his Grandpa without anyone else being in danger, but...  
  
I don't know.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Did I do okay? They don't really go into Tristan's character on the show. I interpreted him the way he is in the manga, when they talk about Joey's past. Seeing past people's surfaces, admiring strength...He kind of acts like a doofus on the show, more towards the beginning of the show and in situations involving Serenity, but I think he's pretty mature underneath it all. Is it too OOC? Please let me know! 


	6. Comfort

Whoa. I actually did it. Four chapters in 24 hours. Wow.  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, Ryou would be allowed to fight back more. Although I actually do like the dub voice, it seems right: he is cultured and a little distant: it works.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
I knew it.  
  
It was too good to be true.  
  
His is just like mine, the one who considers me his.  
  
Thank god Yugi managed to fight him off.  
  
I hope he doesn't suffer for it like I have.  
  
I don't dare hope.  
  
If I had believed even for a second that he was really gone, his return would have broken me.  
  
Still, no matter what, it was worth it.  
  
I may not be able to destroy this demon inside me, but I WILL NOT GIVE IN.  
  
I will not let him kill any more of my friends.  
  
I will not let him destroy the world.  
  
Oh yes, that is his goal. He's bragged of it to me, told me how his victory is inevitable, how he is the darkness and cannot be destroyed, how a mere mortal like me cannot fight him.  
  
I believed him, until the thought occurred: if he cares so little about me, why is he wasting his time telling me all this, trying to scare me? He values himself and his time highly.  
  
That's the only reason I have control of my body at all: he doesn't want to be bothered with the mundane chores of living.  
  
Who is he trying to convince?  
  
I fought, and I found I could, rarely, resist him for a short while.  
  
But the price is too high for minor matters.  
  
I tell myself I'm biding my time, but is that just an excuse to avoid being tortured?  
  
He doesn't harm my body, he'd hurt next time he took over and injuries might attract attention, but my mind is another matter. There's a place, inside my head, that I find myself when he takes over. It hurts just as much there as in the real world...I won't think of it.  
  
When I saw that Yugi had a spirit as well, I almost allowed myself to hope. I can't fight him, but maybe another spirit...  
  
Then I saw through the demon how he sacrificed Joey's life to win.  
  
Still, when the demon called me out I helped him, in order to help my friends.  
  
I WILL NOT BE USED TO KILL THEM.  
  
I may be the demon's tool, but I am not his plaything. I will never give in to him. He will have to fight me tooth and nail.  
  
I promised myself that on the night I first resisted, when I took over long enough to give an old woman who was in the wrong place at the wrong time a chance to escape.  
  
Yugi's brave, under it all. I heard from Joey and Tristan about Ushio.  
  
Yugi proved he has it in him to fight a losing battle.  
  
Like me.  
  
Who do I think I am, one of the Light Brigade, charging into certain death?  
  
The demon has told me he's looking for a new host, and as soon as he finds a suitable one he'll kill me for my insolence.  
  
I don't care.  
  
I'm in hell already.  
  
"Like me, Yugi has some sort of ancient spirit inside him."  
  
That's all I can say without risking his wrath.  
  
Come on, notice the warning...  
  
Like me.  
  
Just like I picked the change of heart card, to try to warn them that their friend was about to become their enemy.  
  
The demon thought that was funny, that futile attempt to warn them.  
  
Laughed at my futile effort and their ignorance.  
  
If I can get it through to them that it wasn't a dream, that the evil spirit exists and is still here, hopefully they'll avoid me.  
  
If they're willing to let me tag along with them, the demon insists I do so he can pick his moment to strike.  
  
Their friendship is one of the few joys in my life, but the knowledge that my friendship may doom them...  
  
I pray that they push me away.  
  
But they're still in danger, even without me.  
  
Poor Yugi.  
  
He doesn't deserve this.  
  
Doesn't deserve to be the host of one of these accursed talismans.  
  
Doesn't deserve to be locked in a losing battle, his only hope to prolong his friends' lives even a little.  
  
Doesn't deserve to have the dream of a quick death be his only comfort.  
  
The only thing I can do is endure.  
  
I won't let him drive me to suicide.  
  
There's no way he'd allow me to, anyway.  
  
And if he's possessing me, he isn't tormenting someone else.  
  
That's one other thing I can comfort myself with.  
  
That and the idea that maybe they'll kill each other off.  
  
They seem to be bitter enemies.  
  
Yugi's demon tried to destroy mine, but failed.  
  
Maybe mine can destroy Yugi's?  
  
Maybe he'll be injured enough in the battle that I can fight him?  
  
Maybe pigs have wings.  
  
Maybe he won't bother to kill Yugi, once he has the puzzle?  
  
Hey, I can hope, right?  
  
No, I can't.  
  
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.  
  
I must have done something, to deserve this damnation.  
  
But Yugi hasn't.  
  
Yugi is kind and caring and his only desire is to help his friends.  
  
After the battle, I could see he knew it wasn't a dream.  
  
Yet he was still nice to me, asked where I got the millennium ring.  
  
Curse him for being so kind, for not pushing me away. Doesn't he know I can't stop him?  
  
Curse you father.  
  
You give me this, and then abandon me to it.  
  
I never see you, you never call, I have to remind you to send money...  
  
Mom and Amane may have died, but I'm still here!  
  
Not that I'm over their deaths either. I write letters to Amane when things are too much.  
  
Maybe the demon is right to call me pathetic.  
  
Pathetic?  
  
I may only be a grain of sand compared to your power, but I'll get in your eye.  
  
I will never surrender.  
  
I will never be yours.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Thanks, reviewers!  
  
Pharoah's Angel: Thanks for putting me on your favorites list! It means a lot.  
  
Dorie Kaiba: We're going to Catalina Aug. 15, wanna come? There are more pix at janime.net, it's a really cool site! 


	7. Satisfaction

Disclaimer: "I have no tolerance for obstacles that get in my way: remember that." If I owned Yu-gi-oh, Bakura wouldn't have sounded like he flunked English. Redundant much? Almost as much as this disclaimer.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Ha!  
  
Look' like the Pharaoh can't keep his little toy under control.  
  
Go ahead, foolish mortal. Fear him, hate him.  
  
Now he's shown his true colors.  
  
Doesn't care about who he has to sacrifice to get what he wants. Just like his father.  
  
I wonder though.  
  
Why is he here?  
  
That Pegasus fool has no defenses. It'd be simple for the Pharaoh to stop his little heart.  
  
So why come to this island?  
  
Just kill him, and with his death his spell will end and the little brat's grandfather's soul will be restored.  
  
Unless he doesn't know that.  
  
He didn't recognize me.  
  
If it was possible for me to hate him even more...  
  
What are the lives of peasants, worse, criminals, worth?  
  
Kaiba, Joey, you don't give a damn about them.  
  
Not that they're worth any of my time either.  
  
Not that I'd tell my little host that. Their immanent demise ties him up in such knots...  
  
Ha. He's fun.  
  
Trying to fight back? Daring to think he can stop me from doing whatever I please?  
  
The problem is, he can.  
  
I've tried to break his spirit, but he's too strong.  
  
Heh, I should have expected that. Even if he is a weakling, we share the same soul after all, so he has at least some of my strength.  
  
I'm a little proud of myself, for not giving up. Just like I didn't give up. I didn't let my family's deaths destroy me. I seek my revenge, I seek it even now.  
  
And I will have it.  
  
But Ryou's resistance is annoying.  
  
The pharaoh seems to have sought to gain his host's cooperation by pretending kindness.  
  
Wonder what he'll do now?  
  
It's too late to try that with Ryou.  
  
I guess I'll just have to erase his memories. It seems like letting me defeat me, my giving up on trying to cow him into submission, but I don't want to waste any more time.  
  
If he doesn't know I'm here, it'll be so easy to get him to do what I want.  
  
Just a voice in his head, easily mistaken for his own thoughts.  
  
He has a spirit like you?  
  
So transparent, Ryou.  
  
Don't think you can fool me.  
  
I am you. The strong half, the clever half, the victorious half.  
  
Do I need you? Sharing a body is much less annoying with half of my own soul. It's much easier to take over the body; it must think I'm its rightful master.  
  
I've been bluffing about finding another host. Where would I find a better one? One whose soul's instinct is not to fight my presence, one who is accepted by these brats...it would be a miracle to find one made to order like that. I don't want to have to bother winning these fools' trust all over again.  
  
You're stuck with me, Ryou. I'll never leave; you'll never be free...  
  
Even so, it'd be fun to kill you.  
  
I'll have to think about that.  
  
Maybe I should start looking for another host.  
  
It'd be almost as fun as killing you will be, Pharaoh.  
  
What did you think when your father told you the source of his power?  
  
Did you think he was a hero, defending the country of Kemt by slaying villains?  
  
Did you grow up thinking it was all right to kill to gain what you wanted?  
  
You certainly do think that now.  
  
I never killed randomly.  
  
I snuck into tombs without the guards ever knowing I was there, when I could have killed them in an instant.  
  
The only ones I killed were your servants.  
  
And those who attacked me.  
  
I'd kill Ryou right now if I thought you would mourn him.  
  
Ah, your little host is crying.  
  
Do you care?  
  
Would you care that I cried?  
  
I didn't for long.  
  
A modern phrase: Don't get sad, get mad.  
  
One of the few good ideas I've heard.  
  
It kept me sane and alive, my hate.  
  
I didn't even get to bury them.  
  
Whose bodies are in your puzzle, pharaoh?  
  
My maiden aunt, who used to use disguise training as an excuse to play dress-up with me?  
  
My older brother, who taught me how to pick locks?  
  
The ex-priest who my father paid to teach me to read so I could decipher inscriptions and plans?  
  
The old men who used to be honest stone-carvers, who used to lie around in the sun and tell me stories?  
  
My parents?  
  
I hope they're in the ring.  
  
I hope I have them. But even if they aren't I will get them. I will get them back.  
  
Like your weak self won't get his grandfather back.  
  
Your little host is crying.  
  
You are crying.  
  
Even if it isn't the part of you that was you, that was my enemy, you are suffering.  
  
What a beautiful day.  
  
Someday, pharaoh, I'll make you cry. I'll have you broken at my feet.  
  
Remember that. Even if you don't remember me.  
  
Do you know I'm still here? That you failed to banish me?  
  
You thought you could?  
  
Well, your were wrong.  
  
I am the darkness, and I cannot be destroyed.  
  
I am the darkness, and I am coming for you, pharaoh.  
  
Wait for me.  
  
Wait in fear.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Did you catch the Vathara quote? READ HER!  
  
Explanations:  
  
From last chapter: Amane is Ryou's sister. She and his mother died in a car accident.  
  
Bakura is originally from the village of Kuru Eruna. The priest Akunadin sacrificed the inhabitants to create the millennium items to save Egypt from invasion. He did not tell his brother, the pharaoh Akunamukanon, about the cost. Bakura thinks it was the pharaoh's idea. Unfortunately, the pharaoh died, so he comes seeking revenge on his son Atemu (Yami) who has no clue what he's talking about.  
  
Bakura's views are inconsistent, aren't they? He's proud of how he never killed except when necessary, then he's glorying in the thought of killing Ryou etc. That's my interpretation of Zork's influence. Bakura was taken over by Zork and in the Memory World Arc is his avatar, which is really ironic since Zork is from Akunadin, who is his family's murderer. He ends up knowing Atemu is innocent and not caring. I'm going to explore this more in Deny Thy Father. That's going to be rather AU to this though.  
  
Responses:  
  
Sansi: Thanks for reviewing again!  
  
Queen of Fire and Chaos: Thanks for the e-mail, and get e-mailed when I post stuff go down to the review button and select Add Author to Author Alert. Sorry, I would e-mail you like you requested but my memory is horrible, so I'd forget a lot.  
  
Amber Eyes: Thanks for reviewing again, and for saying nice things about my Tristan portrayal! And yes, I am going to do Mai vs Yugi. First I'll wrap up the Kaiba duel stuff, then I'll do just Yugi, maybe Tea and Mai, during the Tea duel, then everyone on the Mai duel. And it doesn't end there! I'll try to hurry since I want to get back to Yami! He's my fav.!  
  
Pharaohs Angel: Wow, I have repeat reviewers! Thanks everybody! It's nice to know someone agrees with me about the dub voice, I hate people bashing it. And I answered your question in explanations, in case you missed it. 


	8. Determination

Disclaimer: Look, if I owned Yu-gi-oh Kaiba would have gotten to push Gozaburo out a window in the anime too. 'Heart attack'? Sheesh.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVA  
  
Okay, what just happened?  
  
Not that I'm complaining.  
  
I would have hated to go to my death knowing I'd failed Mokuba.  
  
Yugi is weird.  
  
Most of the time he's just a little kid. Pathetic. Has no idea what the world's really like.  
  
Friendship. The heart of the cards?  
  
Nonsense.  
  
I bet he still believes in Santa Claus.  
  
But when we dueled that time, that thing he wears around his neck glowed.  
  
I know I saw it. But no one else seemed to.  
  
It must have just been a trick of the light. That's all.  
  
But...  
  
Before...  
  
I've seen tons of game faces. Yugi looked so determined, like he was going to try his best. Trying to psych himself up. Pathetic.  
  
Afterwards...  
  
He wasn't determined at all.  
  
Determination is just a cover for fear. You focus on the fact that you are going to give it your all because you know your all isn't good enough.  
  
Now, when I duel, I'm not determined to win.  
  
I'm determined to keep myself from laughing at the pathetic chump stupid enough to challenge me.  
  
When the light disappeared and I could see Yugi's face again, he was...  
  
Casual.  
  
Almost bored. Well, not bored. Sort of like he was bored and here I was, a distraction, but he was pretty sure I was going to be a waste of his time.  
  
That's why I was shocked. Not the light, but by the change.  
  
How did that little punk get that much confidence?  
  
Trying to psych him out was like fencing with the sea. My best smirk went right through him, just made him look like he was having to bite his tongue to keep from laughing.  
  
Look, I know a game face when I see one. That wasn't one. He wasn't trying to intimidate me. He didn't care enough to try to intimidate me.  
  
It was really freaky. When I pulled out my Blue-Eyes, when I had him on the ropes, he'd sort of...change back.  
  
He'd get the kind of cornered mouse look that I'd expect of someone with his determined face. But it would only be for a second.  
  
Then he'd sort of sigh, and zone out. Then after a bit, he'd smile to himself, and pay at least some attention to me again.  
  
Oh, you're still here? That's what his look would say. Like he was amused I wasn't smart enough to figure out I was doomed.  
  
That's my look!  
  
Only he was a lot more subtle about it. No gloating, just like victory wasn't an achievement for him but an 'of course'.  
  
God, it was scary.  
  
I can't believe I just thought that.  
  
Multiple personality syndrome.  
  
That's got to be it.  
  
Maybe I should be scared. If he's nuts...  
  
They non-wimpy one was perfectly willing to let me jump. Fortunately, the wimp took over.  
  
Rescued by a wimp. Oh god, I'm never going to live this down.  
  
Who does that Tea girl think she is?  
  
Cheerleader.  
  
Probably never had to work for anything in her life.  
  
Does she know what it's like to work for what you need? To suffer for your goal?  
  
Gozaburo...  
  
I want to see you again.  
  
So I can kill you again.  
  
Yugi cares? I care!  
  
Mokuba is my only family! Yugi probably has loving parents. Probably has never suffered a day in his life.  
  
He should thank me for getting him used to it now.  
  
I can't fail Mokuba. I've already disappointed him so much...  
  
I'm not the brother he needs anymore. I'm not capable of showing him the affection he needs, so I tried to run away from him, into games, tried to tell myself I didn't care...  
  
I convinced myself. I'm such a baka.  
  
Thank god Yugi rescued him from that penalty game at Death-T. How could I have done that?  
  
God, I owe the wimp my life twice over. No, more. Mokuba's more important than my life. That's why I would have done it.  
  
Jumped. I have no reason to live without him.  
  
After that, I ran away again. Ran away and left Mokuba at Pegasus's mercy. God, I'm a failure.  
  
But I can't think about that. I need to beat Pegasus. I need to be strong for Mokuba. I'm determined to rescue him.  
  
Oh god. Determined. I'm doomed. For some reason, I think I'm going to lose. I lost to Yugi. Twice, really. I'm not invincible any more. I never was.  
  
What Pegasus did...he didn't touch Mokuba. And his picture appearing on that card...  
  
Was that real?  
  
That weird golden thing in his face...it has the same symbol on it as Yugi's pyramid thing does.  
  
He said something about a spirit. Is that what those things are? Magic.  
  
I hope it's magic. Because if magic is the only thing that let Yugi beat me, maybe I have a chance. If I can cancel out whatever Pegasus can do...then I might stand a chance.  
  
Look at me. Believing in magic.  
  
I'll believe in whatever I have to, to rescue Mokuba. Once I've got him back, this'll all be a bad dream.  
  
I will get him back.  
  
No matter what.  
  
Failure is not an option.  
  
I'll keep telling myself that.  
  
But...magic.  
  
Why'd Pegasus want me to duel Yugi? He wouldn't have done that without a reason.  
  
Unless the sadistic bastard wanted to see us suffer.  
  
Yugi has one of those things too. Maybe Yugi has magic too? Maybe Yugi's the only one who stands a chance against him?  
  
Yugi would have helped Mokuba. He's soft that way.  
  
Even after everything Mokuba did to him, trying to please me.  
  
I'm sorry.  
  
Maybe I've doomed my brother.  
  
Oh god.  
  
Was that your plan Pegasus? To have me defeat your only challenge?  
  
Look at him. He's a wreck.  
  
The wimp's nothing, it's the other one...the spirit...who is strong. If Yugi won't let him take over he's doomed.  
  
No.  
  
This is stupid. Magic, me losing to an overdressed chump like Pegasus...  
  
...but what about that time he dueled Bandit Keith...  
  
...I'll be clapping for Tinkerbell if this keeps up.  
  
I will win.  
  
Strong cards, champion's strategies...  
  
"I have all that I need!"  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Is Kaiba too OOC? Again, trying to compromise between the dub, original anime, and manga here. I mean, I prefer the original, but I want this to make sense to those poor deprived souls who have only seen the dub.  
  
In the original, Kaiba isn't Mr. Determined Skeptic about everything. He tells Yugi, 'You know, Malik's probably brainwashed your friends by now. That's what I'd do.' And he tells Yugi to tell the other Yugi that he (Kaiba) 'saw his answer' after the Yugi vs. Brainwashed Joey duel. Buy the subbed version! E-bay or animeniacs.com is good. In the doom arc, he summons monsters to fight ones that aren't using his system after Yami tells him to just do it. He's like, this is nonsense but it works so I'll just go along with it. Like I said, he's rather pragmatic. Whatever works.  
  
Dorie Kaiba: Yay! I want to see you there! (So you can give me back my manga;)  
  
Amber Eyes: Thanks for the ranking. What made you like those ones? I love it when people tell me what I'm doing right. Or wrong. (Yes, this is a shameless plea for reviews;) And doing that episode is a great idea! I will. 


	9. Purpose

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, Pegasus would have died in the anime too. I mean, it's a shame about Cynthia and all, but "One down."?  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
It's just too perfect.  
  
What an excellent little drama.  
  
Almost as much fun as Funny Bunny!  
  
I'm such a genius.  
  
Ha, Kaiba-boy, do you hate Mokuba so much that you'd risk your life to make sure I keep him?  
  
You do?  
  
What a naughty, naughty boy you are.  
  
And you, Yugi-boy.  
  
You call yourself a friend?  
  
Friends don't let friends drive drunk, and they certainly don't suddenly decide they are cold-blooded murderers, now do they?  
  
Pity the other Yugi-boy has seen through my plan. I'd hoped he would come to hate you for your betrayal, Yugi-boy, but he seems to care for you even after all those nasty, nasty things you've said about him.  
  
It's a shame. To restore Cynthia I need his assistance. If he'd seen how weak you are and let me be his new master...  
  
Oh well. It was fun to send Kaiba that vision. He's so predictable, isn't he? Control his precious brother and you have him.  
  
I'll get the spirit in the end, anyway. But how to get him to help me, hmm?  
  
Help the one he hates so, so much?  
  
Through the one he loves so, so much, of course!  
  
I'd thought to let you go after winning the puzzle from you. It would have been fun to watch you try to survive without your grandfather and only protector. Once I have the puzzle, I won't need souls to increase my power.  
  
But I'll keep the ones I've won. Letting them go wouldn't be any fun!  
  
But keeping you in the shadow realm, making it so that my spells are the only things keeping you alive, forget sane...the spirit will be mine then. And I'll control the greatest power in the world.  
  
The power that can restore my beloved.  
  
But you don't seem to know how, do you? You cast spells out of instinct, without understanding how you do them until you have. Your memory is a blank, pharaoh.  
  
You'd better remember quickly. Or Yugi-boy will pay.  
  
Why should you have the one you care about when I don't?  
  
Why should anyone be happy while I suffer?  
  
Cynthia...  
  
Oh, you'll be so proud of me!  
  
See what I've done for you, how powerful I've become, how much I've sacrificed...  
  
You'll see.  
  
Like I can see you.  
  
Soon you'll be able to see me back.  
  
You silly little children. Just pawns in my game. And pawns, do you know what pawns are for? Cannon fodder, that's what.  
  
Unless they manage to get all the way across the board, however. Then they become a force to be reckoned with.  
  
But you'll never make it that far, Yugi-boy.  
  
I've got you now, caught in my web.  
  
If the spirit recovered his memories...I can see vast power in him. Power that puts mine to shame.  
  
That's why I need you. And that's why I'll smash that puzzle and kill you once I've got Cynthia back.  
  
Can't have you seeking revenge for all I've done to your precious partner, after all.  
  
And all I plan to do to you.  
  
But you won't care about that, will you?  
  
No, the reason you'll hate me and curse my name and plot against me...you don't care that much about yourself.  
  
He's the only thing you care about. Look, here you are willing to suffer just to spare him pain!  
  
Willing to have him hate you after all you've done for him, just to spare him the pain of knowing he failed one of his friends.  
  
It pierces you to the bone, doesn't it?  
  
The pain of his rejection?  
  
But even worse is his despair at losing his grandfather forever.  
  
And we know who lost him, yes, don't we?  
  
Cynthia...I'd do even more for you.  
  
Ha, Yugi-boy, you don't deserve happiness. Don't deserve the luck you've had. Loving family and friends and the greatest power in the world kneeling at your feet, willing to do anything, anything for a kind word.  
  
That's why you have to suffer.  
  
Why should you have joy when my love and my life is dead?  
  
That's why I'm better than you. I'm willing to get my love back no matter what it takes.  
  
You won't even conquer your fears for your beloved grandfather.  
  
Won't sacrifice whatever you have to.  
  
Won't trust in the power he gave you.  
  
Won't trust the one who'd do anything for you.  
  
But I do have a problem. Without the spirit's aid there's no way you'll be able to get enough star chips to make it into the castle, much less defeat the other finalists.  
  
I wonder who'll knock you out?  
  
Bandit Keith, the fool, so anxious to lose again to me?  
  
Your friend Joey?  
  
Will you hate him like you hate the spirit if he defeats you?  
  
Or...Mai?  
  
So you will get into the castle. Well, that's one problem solved.  
  
Who'd have thought a traitor like you could preach friendship and be listened to?  
  
But...it wasn't you. It is the spirit she wants to repay.  
  
After all the kindness he's shown, you still think him a murderer?  
  
Naughty, naughty Yugi-boy.  
  
What a fool.  
  
I wonder if I'll have to steal your opponent's souls to let you win?  
  
What'll you think of that?  
  
Oh...  
  
You can't mean it!  
  
Never duel again!?  
  
But you have to duel! How can I defeat you and claim the puzzle and Kaiba Corp. if you don't duel!  
  
I shouldn't worry. You won't hold out for long.  
  
You need your grandfather too much. You'll find some excuse.  
  
You need him. Like I need Cynthia.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV Man, for a three-parter this is turning out to be long! Next up Tea, than Mai's arrival and some povs on that duel, obviously Tea, Yugi and Yami, and maybe a chapter with shorts from others. Next Kaiba vs. Pegasus. Then Yugi vs. Mai and vs. Pegasus. Maybe Yami's thoughts on Yugi vs. Rebecca. I'm keeping this Y/Y centric. Characters may wander off topic but they will be thinking about those two. I don't know how much I'm going to do with battle city. I'm going to go up to the Memory World Arc like I planned for my third chapter. This is the fic that never ends! (A reference to a fic on my favorite stories list, now on its 59th chapter. But I think they took that song out when they cut the author's notes. Shame, they were funny.) Any requests for things you don't want me to miss? R&R!  
  
Chebnile: Sorry, I don't do forums. But my aim is Laryna6 too, and if we're on at the same time I would like to talk. And thanks for putting this on favorites! I plan to do more stories soon, so you can put me on favorite Authors!  
  
Pharoah's Angel: You're welcome! And thanks for putting me on Author Alert and reviewing right away! Fanfic.net won't show that I've updated! Wah! Anyway, it's nice to know someone thinks I did ok on Kaiba. They really change him around, it was hard for me to stay true to the real character and make it work with the dub.  
  
Silvershadowfire: I agree. Why would Yugi freak because he lost the duel? He threw it! Loved Granny in your fic, by the way. You're really making it work. It doesn't seem contrived at all, just Discworld crazyness. Great!  
  
Once again, check out my favorites lists! I have some great stuff! 


	10. Friendship

Disclaimer: Look, if I owned Yu-gi-oh Tea would get to kill the scriptwriters. Slowly.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Oh god.  
  
I feel so horrible.  
  
Maybe I shouldn't have said anything.  
  
No, Kaiba may be a cold, heartless bastard, but he doesn't deserve to die.  
  
Quite.  
  
Poor Yugi.  
  
Poor, poor Yugi.  
  
He's so afraid now.  
  
Why did the other Yugi do that?  
  
He must have had a good reason.  
  
I know he's a good person.  
  
He saved me all those times.  
  
My mysterious stranger. God, I had such a crush.  
  
I still do.  
  
But I like Yugi too. It's not betrayal, is it? Liking my oldest friend and this spirit?  
  
But, if they're the same person...  
  
I look at Yugi when he's dueling, and I see Yugi.  
  
What he could be.  
  
That fire, that confidence...it's as much a part of him as his kindness. It's just that his kindness is stronger: he never fights seriously, because he never wants to hurt anyone.  
  
The other Yugi is his other side, they're different faces of the same person.  
  
So I'm not betraying either of them by liking both.  
  
You bastard Kaiba.  
  
How can you say that to him? Do you know what he's going through!? Do you even care!?  
  
God, I really shouldn't say such mean things to him. Not that they seem to have hurt him much.  
  
You see, I'm just like Yugi. There's a part of me that is nice and kind, and devoted to my friends, but there's another part that's just as devoted, but... nasty about it.  
  
Willing to do anything, anything, for the ones I care about.  
  
I think everyone's like that. I mean, we have instincts from evolving, and isn't protecting your family the most noble instinct?  
  
But strangling Kaiba isn't exactly something a modern person can get away with.  
  
And the civilized me knows this, and restricts my desire to protect my friends to moral support.  
  
Other Yugi, I know you. Isn't having your life saved by someone supposed to connect you to them?  
  
You're a good person. You're just like me.  
  
You'll do anything to protect the ones you care about, won't you?  
  
Friends and family are the only things that matter.  
  
And you consider me a friend. And Joey, 'cause you rescued him from that gang. And Tristan, because you used Monster Reborn for him even though he was a really weak card. And Ryou, 'cause you wouldn't kill him even when he practically begged you to. And Yugi.  
  
You'd do anything for Yugi.  
  
I saw how you looked at him when he wasn't looking at you. No one, no one, who can care about someone that much can be evil.  
  
Gods, I've had a crush on you for years, I just didn't do anything because if we broke up, you'd lose your only friend and I couldn't do that to you.  
  
But now you have Joey, and Tristan, and Ryou, and the other you.  
  
He loves you, you know.  
  
He must be crying. You're crying, so he is.  
  
I have to do something. I can't let the two of you suffer like this.  
  
Not when I love you.  
  
I just wished I knew how I loved you.  
  
According to the Greeks, I heard somewhere, there are three kinds of love.  
  
Philios, love of the mind. What you feel for your friends.  
  
Friendship.  
  
People roll their eyes when I talk about it, but that's because the idiots have no idea.  
  
Friendship is something you can't live without.  
  
Even Kaiba has his brother.  
  
That's why he's so desperate to get him back. You'd think, after what he said to him and did at Death-T that he didn't care, but Kaiba, you'd die without someone to care about you.  
  
I know what it's like to be alone.  
  
Yugi, you were my first friend. The first one I approached who didn't tease me.  
  
Is that why you are so important to me?  
  
Is what I feel just Philios?  
  
JUST Philios? What a stupid thing to say.  
  
The second type of love is the one I'm not sure about.  
  
Eros. Love of the body. Romantic love.  
  
I mean, I've thought it would be great to go out with you. But is that just because we're teenagers, and dating is the kind of thing we're supposed to do?  
  
I mean, I wouldn't mind spending my life with you. I know that you'd never hurt me, and we'd be great friends.  
  
Friends. I think that, even if I do love you love you, my friendship is stronger. When I think of us, I see us talking, not kissing. I love you for your mind, who you are, not your body.  
  
The last?  
  
Agape. Love of the soul.  
  
What else could it be?  
  
What else could you feel for yourself?  
  
Man, I envy you.  
  
Soulmates is the kind of thing people dream about.  
  
And that's why you feel so horrible right now.  
  
Only the ones we love can hurt us like that.  
  
You think he's betrayed you.  
  
Can't you see he never, never would?  
  
He did it for you, Yugi. He does everything for you. Except the things he does for me and the rest of us, because he, like the rest of you, is the kind of person that cares about others, but that doesn't mean you're not the center of his life.  
  
If I was stupid, I would feel jealous. But caring is caring, and I know you, both of you, care for me. What you feel for yourself won't change that.  
  
I want you to be happy.  
  
And that means getting the two of you to kiss and make up.  
  
Oh, no Mai.  
  
Do not go there.  
  
Make him feel any worse and I'll kick your ass.  
  
You do not mess with my friends.  
  
Right, Yugis?  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
I hate Tea-bashing. I see her as a very strong-minded person who has a firm grasp of how things are and tries to beat it into people's thick heads. Anyone who cares that much is going to be familiar with the desire to kill anyone who messes with the cared-for ones. So I think she can understand Yami best.  
  
She's sort of messed up about them. In the English she sorta likes Yugi and is sorta worried about the spirit getting him in trouble, although she acts supportive towards Yami, it's mostly because Yugi cares about him, and she trusts Yugi's judgment. She herself is not so sure.  
  
In the manga she has a serious crush on Yami at the beginning, and is really sad to see him go.  
  
In the subbed anime, I get the feeling she mostly just wants to help them, both of them. When Yugi sets Yami up on a date with her, she doesn't act at all romantic. She listens to Yami complain about how Yami is unhappy about Yugi not being the one on the date (Yami thought Yugi had finally gotten up the courage to ask Tea out), and is rather sympathetic. She spends the whole time trying to cheer him up. Taking him around town, not trying to get him to kiss her or holding hands. You get the feeling she just cares, a lot, and that's the version I like.  
  
Responses (I 3 reviewers!)  
  
Smiley Face Mel: Thank you, I will!  
  
Amber Eyes: Yugi vs. Mai coming up! Mai's pov next! Then Yugi, then Yami, then possibly Tea again. Then Y, YY, Kaiba and Pegasus on KvsP. Then YvM and YvJ, then the fourth episode. And fifth, Solomon! Hope you like them too. And I will have fun!  
  
Yla/allforhim: Thanks for saying I did a good job on Yami. He's my fav, so I wanted to get him right.  
  
Pharoah's Angel: No, I think Pegasus didn't know. It has him refer to Yami as "the mysterious spirit of the millennium puzzle", so I'm guessing he has no clue. Of course, that's the dub, and I haven't gotten around to seeing those episodes subbed yet.I just wanted him to be focused on Yami, and the pharaoh's power instead of all the millennium items. It might be AU, a little. But this is a Yami-centric fic and I'm writing it, and I wanted it that way. 


	11. Priorities

Here goes, my second attempt at Chapter 11. I turned on the tv just now and saw the second half of Tea vs. Mai, lucky! I'm going from memory on the rest of it, as usual.  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, Mai would have gotten to beat up Panik when he tried to grab her (there is a fic where she does somewhere in my favorite authors).  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Um...okaayyy...  
  
Why the hell is Joey strangling Yugi?  
  
Okay, he's not strangling him, just shaking him. What a relief.  
  
Why the hell is Joey shaking Yugi?  
  
And why do Yugi's eyes look so...dead?  
  
Yugi lost to Kaiba, and now he's refusing to ever duel again?  
  
I'm really angry. Why am I angry? Normally I laugh when people are stupid.  
  
I mean, me losing to Joey, that's something to get depressed over. A pro like me, losing to a complete amateur who had to borrow a star chip to even get on this island?  
  
Depressing, ain't it?  
  
But Kaiba, hell! Everyone loses to Kaiba! Being one-for-one with Kaiba is something to be proud of!  
  
I thought you were better than that, Yugi. Everyone loses sometimes. I lost to Joey and Panic on this island, and here I am with eighteen star chips and you won't accept them!  
  
I hate owing people.  
  
Geez, what are you getting so angry about, Tea? I'm just telling the truth!  
  
Duel me for these star chips? You duel me? You're kidding!  
  
You're serious.  
  
Wow.  
  
You're going to get your butt kicked. Why do you want to do this? Yugi doesn't deserve it.  
  
I thought...I thought he was special. Giving me those star chips after he'd almost gotten fried to a crisp winning them...  
  
How the hell did he survive?  
  
Wierdness.  
  
Yugi is weird.  
  
You're so strong. Like... someone I could look up to.  
  
Then you're completely devastated by such a little thing...  
  
The Yugi I know wouldn't be like this.  
  
All your friends wouldn't be looking at me like I was crazy if that was all it was.  
  
You're scared.  
  
Losing a duel doesn't make you scared like this.  
  
There's more to it than meets the eye.  
  
I'm relieved.  
  
I'd hate to think...  
  
Whatever.  
  
Oh god, Tea. You have no freaking clue what you're doing. Why did you even try?  
  
For Yugi.  
  
Man, you're lucky...  
  
But you can't help him with this.  
  
Something horrible enough to make a person that strong that terrified...  
  
Whatever's going on in Yugi's head, Tea, he's going to have to face it on his own.  
  
He needs to go back to the way he used to be, where he'd toss aside anything that got in his way.  
  
Please?  
  
Your friends need you. Joey looks so lost...  
  
I need you.  
  
God, I did not just think that.  
  
But everyone needs someone to prove themselves against.  
  
I want you to be strong.  
  
So that when I beat you, it'll prove that I'm strong.  
  
I need you to duel again.  
  
Please, just please snap out of it.  
  
I know you're strong.  
  
You're strong too, Tea.  
  
Man, I'm actually starting to respect these losers.  
  
To like these losers?  
  
No, no way. Not me.  
  
You're crying like this and you just pulled off a great move.  
  
Too bad I have a better one.  
  
Ah, my harpies, you have the coolest accessories!  
  
Muahahaha.  
  
But...  
  
Whistle innocently. Look defeated. Wait until out of sight behind dueling platform to smirk.  
  
Go on, Tea. Here are Yugi's...your star chips.  
  
You're a complete amateur. But you deserve this victory.  
  
What made you so strong?  
  
You were fighting for your friend.  
  
Friendship...whatever.  
  
Oh shit. Yugi spotted me.  
  
How the hell did he know that card was Harpie's Feather Duster?  
  
Well, I am a little predictable. I love it when people know what's coming and they can't do a thing about it.  
  
Muahahaha.  
  
Hey, he's back to his old self!  
  
Score one for the big girl!  
  
And now he owes me, he he he. I am eeeeevil.  
  
Still...  
  
It's good to have you back, Yugi.  
  
We've missed you.  
  
We?  
  
Since when am I part of Yugi-and-Co.?  
  
He does seem to collect people.  
  
Whatever. A girl shouldn't think too much, it's a dangerous pastime.  
  
It made me throw a game!  
  
I've never done that!  
  
Winning is everything!  
  
Really?  
  
Ha.  
  
Having fun is everything.  
  
I wouldn't be making a living off this game if it wasn't fun.  
  
And now it's fun for you again, Yug.  
  
God, I sound like Joey.  
  
Sheesh.  
  
I better ditch these losers before I go completely soft.  
  
Nah. They're fun.  
  
But I'm still kicking your ass, Yugi.  
  
A girl's got to have her priorities straight.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Sorry about overuse of italics, it just seemed right for Mai.  
  
Sorry about lateness! Move plus computer issues! Having to borrow brother's laptop, main computer goes ballistic when the space bar is pressed. Will do Yugi soon, possibly right now.  
  
Queen of Fire and Chaos: It's a deal!  
  
Amber Eyes(): Sure, I'd like your e-mail. But you might want to get an account to. I got one ages before I wrote anything so that I could get links to my favorites. It's very convenient, and free. I love ff.net!!!!  
  
SilverShadowFire: Wasn't it though? Tea rocks!  
  
Pharoah's Angel: You're welcome, and the Pharaoh rules. 


	12. Excuses

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh...oh wait. Yami does wear leather and chains. Um...go Kazuki Takahashi!  
  
Wah! It lost my italics!!!!! Damn you, QuickEdit!  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Tea, why are you doing this?  
  
I don't need those star chips.  
  
I don't care what Mai says.  
  
I will never duel again.  
  
No, I won't!  
  
Mai, what you say...  
  
That I need to get rid of anyone who gets in my way.  
  
Should I?  
  
No, I can't.  
  
Or is it won't?  
  
What do you do when the thing you're fighting against is some sort of magical spirit that can take control of you?  
  
He's living inside of me.  
  
Grandpa, I don't know what to do.  
  
Curse you, spirit! I thought you were my friend!  
  
Why did you...  
  
You're right Mai, I'm not paying attention.  
  
I'm ignoring my friend Tea when she really needs me.  
  
What kind of friend am I?  
  
What kind of person am I, to almost let him...  
  
Him, or it.  
  
What is he?  
  
I mean, spirits possessing people are usually demons.  
  
The one that possessed Ryou certainly seems like a demon.  
  
So he was just pretending.  
  
That bastard.  
  
No, I can't seem to hate him.  
  
Does that mean...  
  
I'm usually a good judge of character.  
  
I knew Joey and Tristan were good people even when they were mean to me.  
  
Wistful thinking again.  
  
I can't let Grandpa down.  
  
I can't let everyone down.  
  
I have to fix this somehow.  
  
I can't just give up.  
  
But what do I do?  
  
What do I do?  
  
Normally, when I'm stressed out, I don't have to deal with it.  
  
Ever since I solved the puzzle, when bullies pick on me I black out and when I wake up everything's fine.  
  
Like Ushio...  
  
When I came to school that morning, after solving the puzzle, Ushio was playing in the dirt. I heard people say he thought the leaves were money.  
  
The spirit did that to him, didn't he?  
  
Destroying people's minds for hurting me?  
  
For messing with his property?  
  
No, it wasn't fine.  
  
When I was stressed over schoolwork or a test, all of a sudden I would just feel like...  
  
Confidence. Like I could do this, like everything would be fine.  
  
That's what the spirit makes me feel when we duel...dueled.  
  
I'm so dependant on him.  
  
I don't know how to be strong on my own.  
  
Strong like Tea is, facing Mai when she's seen Mai duel.  
  
I used to be strong.  
  
Well, a little.  
  
I stood up to Ushio when he was beating Joey and Tristan up, didn't I?  
  
And got beaten up myself.  
  
Not to mention owing a lot of money unless I wanted to get beaten up again.  
  
With a knife.  
  
The spirit saved me from that one.  
  
And from a whole lot of others.  
  
It's time I saved myself.  
  
Thank you, Tea.  
  
You faced your fears for me.  
  
But Mai let her win.  
  
I can't count on the spirit letting me win.  
  
But he did when I wanted to save Kaiba...  
  
No! That was just surprise! I can't let myself trust him again! I can't let him hurt any more people!  
  
I will duel again. And the consequences will not be the ones I fear.  
  
I will fight him.  
  
And win.  
  
I'll show him I'm not weak, not his toy.  
  
I will.  
  
I'll make you proud of me, Grandpa.  
  
I'll make you pay for what you've done, Pegasus.  
  
I'll help you get the money for your sister, Joey.  
  
I'll make you glad you helped me, Tea.  
  
Thank you, Tea.  
  
For giving me back the courage that let me survive all those years.  
  
Games have always been my strength.  
  
I will duel, I will win.  
  
I just...wish I didn't have to do it alone.  
  
I mean, my friends will be there for me, but...  
  
Why couldn't it have been real?  
  
Why couldn't you have been my savior?  
  
Why did you hurt me like this?  
  
Forget it. I don't need you.  
  
I can do this on my own.  
  
Right?  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Wow, that was hard. And bad. I had terminal writer's block, just couldn't think of what to say. Is it clear? Yugi's heart has already decided to trust the spirit, to duel again, he's just justifying it to himself: he's giving in, but slowly. He needs a reason to give himself to trust again. Angst, terribly?  
  
Yami rejoicing next, to make up for the angst, then Tea, then a chapter with shorts from various characters since there isn't anyone else involved enough to warrant a whole chapter. Good? R&R! (That's my first time putting that, I feel so desperate! Ignore needy me.) 


	13. Loyalty

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-gi-oh. If I did, Yami would get a cape instead of the jacket. The jacket does look cool, but then anything would on him.  
  
Yay, lots of reviews! Thanks are at the end.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Oh, thank you.  
  
Thank you so much.  
  
You've paid me back a thousandfold, Mai. You've given him his courage back. He doesn't fear me anymore. Well...  
  
He still does, a little. But he's determined to fight back. I'm so proud. This means that I haven't truly made him weak. Perhaps...I've made him stronger? As I hoped?  
  
No, he has it in him to fight back when he knows that he will lose. Ushio...I hate that I wasn't there to protect him from you. But in a way I have to thank you. You're the reason Yugi was finally able to solve the puzzle, after eight years.  
  
What, did you think it took that long just because it was difficult? No, my precious one, no ordinary puzzle could have resisted you for that long. Even though you were the one meant to solve it, it wouldn't let you until you met the requirement.  
  
The puzzle can only be solved by one who wishes its power not for themselves, but to help others. When you worked on the puzzle that night, you weren't truly thinking about it, were you?  
  
No, what was resounding through your head were thoughts of Ushio. What he was going to do to you...and what he might do again to Joey and Tristan.  
  
You wished for a friend. An unselfish wish, but still something for you. But that night you wanted nothing of the puzzle: you did not desire its power, merely the comfort it gave you to work on it.  
  
I'm so glad I could help you in any way, even before you awoke me.  
  
Didn't it seem odd? That the puzzle that had resisted your strongest efforts, your deepest concentration, was so easy when you ignored it? Magic, Yugi. The pieces that had twisted themselves out of shape to cage me were straightened by your heart.  
  
And so I met you. My savior.  
  
And now...  
  
I don't know what to do.  
  
Just wait, and hope. Hope that you will release me again. Hope that your anger will retreat. You can't stay angry long: you're too kind a person.  
  
Maybe now you'll listen to me? Argue with me? If you argue, aibou, I can make you listen to me. I've never lost at anything, not even an argument.  
  
But I have surrendered. But only to you. Only you deserve that honor, to have me bow before you.  
  
Pegasus seeks to take your place. He shall not! Only you are my light, my life and hope, my savior, Master.  
  
Perhaps I should call you that. It is how I truly feel about you, and it might reassure you. I shall never go against thy wishes.  
  
But that isn't what you want. You wished for a friend, and that is what I will be for you. I am sorry I wasn't a better one.  
  
If only...  
  
No. Past is past. Now I have to defend you against the danger I have placed you in.  
  
Thank you, Mai. I can't say that enough times. I owe you.  
  
And I always pay my debts.  
  
He isn't so afraid any more. He was afraid of me. I'd rather be in the dark again, trapped in the cold than have him live in fear.  
  
Perhaps...I have paid him back for freeing me, in some small measure. Before he thought he was a loser, destined to be alone. Now he thinks he can fight an insanely powerful spirit.  
  
Brave little one.  
  
But how much of that is my doing? Tristan and Joey deserve much of the credit, for reassuring him that more cared about him than his Grandpa and Anzu, gave him strong men to look up to, fighters who got knocked down but got right up again.  
  
Now you are ready to fight one who wants nothing more than to lie at your feet. Little one! Can't you see?!  
  
Whatever you desire is yours. Pegasus, Bakura...I would fight forever for a kind word from thee. No evil shall touch thee, I swear it on thy light. May it be lost to me forever if I fail thee.  
  
Aibou, Yugi, Master, I need you!  
  
Fight me, please! That fight I can win, as I win everything for you. I win when you are acclaimed victor, for you deserve to never lose.  
  
Don't give up?  
  
Please?  
  
How can I give you victory when you surrender to me? But you won't. Thank god. And thank you, Mai.  
  
What I want is for him to crush me for getting in his way. What I want is for him to fight me. And accept my surrender.  
  
Thank you as well, Tea. For fighting for him even after he had given up. Refused to duel. Refused to try to fight against me.  
  
I don't want your surrender, Yugi! I want your happiness. I want you to be happy you released me, happy to know me, glad to have me.  
  
I owe you everything. Won't you accept my service, the only coin I have to pay you back with? I will be yours forever, if you'll only have me!  
  
Please, aibou.  
  
Please, Yugi?  
  
Please, Master!  
  
Please...  
  
Let me drown in your light?  
  
-Get out of my head!-  
  
At least you're still fighting. At least you're angry, not afraid. At least we still have time to make up before Pegasus fights us.  
  
He'll show us what he does to Kaiba. I know it. Perhaps that'll make Yugi hate Pegasus instead of me?  
  
Hope. Another gift from Yugi. Another thing the puzzle stole from me.  
  
Why? Why did you strip me of my memories?  
  
Why did you imprision me, alone in the cold and dark and chains cutting into my skin and trying to scream but couldn't hear in the deafening silence...  
  
No. Don't think about it. I'm not trapped there anymore. Thanks to you.  
  
My savior, my light and my life...you're so warm and I was so cold: let me hold you, please?  
  
-No! Don't try to make me feel better! It won't work! I won't let you control me anymore!-  
  
Your voice is so wonderful after the silence. It's perfect. Everything about you is perfect. Did you know that?  
  
But I can't tell you. I'd scare you. And I don't want you to be afraid, little one. You're not supposed to be afraid ever. You have me now.  
  
I'll keep you safe. You keep me alive.  
  
Perhaps we are partners.  
  
I can only dream.  
  
Dreams? Perhaps if I show you your Grandfather, you'll feel better?  
  
You miss him. You're sad. You shouldn't be sad.  
  
I'll make you happy again.  
  
I promise.  
  
That is my purpose after all.  
  
And I will do a good job of it.  
  
I'll make you happy with me.  
  
Just wait and see.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Yami is rather emotionally dependant on Yugi. Like a bird, the first thing it sees... and Yugi did save him and everything, so he's terminally grateful.  
  
This is the first fight, and Yugi feeling bad for so long and not being able to do anything about it is making him a little crazy. Gotta go, resposes next chaper later today! 


	14. Laughter

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, Yugi-tachi would get to have magic too! I want to see Joey summon Flame Swordsman and barbecue his Dad. Sigh. But I don't. Sigh.  
  
Um, I did see the episode recently but the details have faded. Sorry for any inaccuracy. --...-- is a yami, -...- is a hikari.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
What the hell is Tea thinkin'?  
  
Mai's going to kick her ass! It's gonna be brutal!  
  
Gotta stay calm, don't panic...  
  
Who'm I kiddin'?! Yugi's never gonna get into the castle now! What are we gonna do about Gramps?! There's no way I can take Pegasus down, I only got this far 'cause of Yug' backin' me!  
  
How'm I gonna help my sister without him!  
  
Come on, cheer for Tea, she cheered for me when I was facin' Mai and I pulled through, I gotta do the same for her...  
  
She kicks my ass a lot, right?  
  
But she didn't get Gramps' trainin'. An' Yug's in no shape to help her.  
  
Whoo, Wobaku! Good move Tea!  
  
Very funny, Tristan. Ha ha. I'm gonna pound you...  
  
Wrong time.  
  
Tea...whoa. You're doing all this for Yug'? That's so like you.  
  
Whoa. Yay Tea! Knew you could do it!  
  
Yug's takin' the star chips?  
  
Thank god. Our Yug is back. The Yug I know. An' goin' by the eyes, it is our Yug'.  
  
Go Tea!  
  
Yeesh, I sound like a cheerleader for cryin' out loud.  
  
Last one to the castle's a rotten egg!  
  
Ha ha ha!  
  
VAVAVAVAV  
  
I guess...Yugi's decided to trust him.  
  
He was so worried before, about dueling again, so adamant about it.  
  
I think Tea gave him courage. She always could cheer me up. Or he listened to Mai. I don't agree with everything she said. The bit about crushing people who get in your way.  
  
But you do need to stand up to things. That's what Joey and I were trying to do, get Yugi to be a man.  
  
But he's a better man than either of us.  
  
Going through all this to rescue his Grandpa...  
  
He's tough. He may not have been in a gang, but that's just smarts.  
  
I hope he wins. I mean, I believe in him and all, but Pegasus created this game. And he beat Yugi before when he took his Grandpa.  
  
And he's got magic too, according to Ryou's creepy Ring. Yugi said it was like Pegasus was reading his mind. And what Kaiba said about how Pegasus beat Bandit Keith like that...  
  
Creepy.  
  
I mean, I think the other Yugi is okay, he did bring me back to life so I owe him, but Pegasus is a soul-stealing freak and the other Ryou is just psycho. Very psycho.  
  
All this magic stuff: I hope Yugi can handle it.  
  
Because he's the only one with powers who's on our side. Pegasus and the other spirit are both after him, and I get the feeling they're not the kind of people who leave witnesses.  
  
That's so selfish. But if Yugi fails, there's no way I can rescue him.  
  
All I can do is trust in him and the other Yugi. Nothing I do'll make any difference.  
  
I hate this. My friend shouldn't have to face this alone. We should be able to be there for him.  
  
I'll do my best to support him, but I'm worried.  
  
My best might not be good enough.  
  
Heh.  
  
VAVAVAVAV  
  
He took the star chips!?!?!  
  
What are you thinking, Yugi!?  
  
You can't trust him!  
  
What did he tell you to get you to forgive him? What lies did he whisper in your mind's ear?  
  
You can't trust them. They'll betray you. Damn demons. You should have stayed dead!  
  
Hsss...  
  
You'll punish me more if I let them see I was hurt just now. So I'll stay silent.  
  
Dear God, how much longer?  
  
Yugi should be fine soon. He'll lose to Pegasus and he'll take the puzzle. He'll either kill you or imprision you, but that'll be better than this.  
  
My demon is planning on facing Pegasus as well. Fat chance he'll lose, but maybe he'll decide Pegasus would be a better host? I mean, he does own a company. The demon is greedy, and the resources would be useful in tracking down the rest of the Items, wouldn't they?  
  
--Don't get your hopes up, yadonushi.—  
  
Damn, isn't there any privacy even in my own head?  
  
Not for me. Not as long as he's here.  
  
Is it like this for you, Yugi? I heard you through the demon in that duel.  
  
A voice in your head? One you mistook for yourself? That's all he's been to you? You lucky bastard.  
  
Where are your parents? Did he kill them? At least you've gotten to stay with your Grandfather instead of being all alone...  
  
Damn you.  
  
Who?  
  
I'm laughing. Isn't laughter the body's defense against fear?  
  
No wonder I laugh so much.  
  
VAVAVAVAV  
  
Khu khu khu...  
  
So, he'll duel again?  
  
Interesting.  
  
What did you tell him, what did you promise?  
  
Tell me, oh great one.  
  
What do you do to win the loyalty of your toy?  
  
It'd be good to have Ryou's cooperation.  
  
Alas, it is not to be. Oh well.  
  
Tonight, I'll work on his memory. But I won't have to quit torturing him, oh no. He just won't have any idea what it'll be about.  
  
My amusement, yadonushi. What else? And then I'll erase your memory of that.  
  
Take Pegasus's body?  
  
Like you'd be so lucky.  
  
Should I tell you what I plan?  
  
-No!-  
  
What a good idea!  
  
I think I'll strip your memories slowly. And save the most painful for last. Hear me, yadonushi? Your resistance is at an end.  
  
Pity that. It's been fun!  
  
But I don't tolerate obstacles that get in my way.  
  
You won't remember that.  
  
Khu khu khu...  
  
VAVAVAVAV  
  
Hah!  
  
I was right, this is almost as fun as Funny Bunny!  
  
Oh, the drama! The hijinks! The fools in my web!  
  
Everyone's relieved Yugi-boy's recovered: the spirit is so glad it's pathetic. Yugi still hates his greatest defender, the one who cares for him most!  
  
You're such a bad boy, Yugi-boy!  
  
Hurting him so! You don't deserve him! I've told you that before, haven't I? Yes I have! And you didn't listen? What a bad boy you are!  
  
Thank you for sending Kaiba-boy to me! We're going to have such fun, aren't we Kaiba boy?  
  
I can't wait to reunite you with your brother! The look on your face will be priceless, priceless, priceless.  
  
Ha ha!  
  
What a wonderful day!  
  
And tomorrow the Millennium Puzzle will be mine!  
  
Ha ha ha!  
  
Ha ha!  
  
And I get to play with you too, poor Bandit Keith. Such, such fun.  
  
I can't wait to tell you all about it, Cynthia.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Um, not much to say. Responses in next chapter.  
  
Um, thanks for Reviewing again, Silvershadowfire! Liked the crazy!Yami speech? Thanks! 


	15. Victory

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, Tea would have gotten to have a few WORDS with Malik re kidnapping, body snatching etc.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Yay! He took them, he took them!  
  
God, I sound so hyper. Well, I did just win an official duel. And I only started playing so I could join in with everyone else, same as Tristan.  
  
I mean, I am decent, I've kicked Joey's ass enough times. And Tristan. And a bunch of other guys at recess. I mean, I've got Yugi to teach me to play. That's about the same as having a looong list of cheat codes.  
  
No, I don't do video games, and even if I did I wouldn't use cheat codes. But all the boys are obsessed with Grand Theft Auto, I think the third one, and most of them looove the codes. Bigger explosions or something?  
  
Whatever.  
  
Back to rejoicing. Yay, Yugi's getting into the castle! He's gonna duel again! We can still rescue his Grandfather!  
  
Maybe Mai isn't as bad as I thought she was because of what she said earlier. Like Yugi cares he lost one lousy duel? That's what, one out of seven billion and three?  
  
Yugi's got his priorities straight. Duel Monsters is a game. A fun game, but he's not like Kaiba. He wouldn't go ballistic over a little thing like losing.  
  
He once told me that once his Grandpa finished showing him the game and he (Yugi) started winning all the time, that he was really disappointed that he was winning all the time.  
  
He said he actually wanted to lose. Well, not all the time, at least some of the time.  
  
I was like, WTF?! Why would you want to lose, for crying out loud?  
  
What he said really made sense. I already respected him a lot, but I don't think I'd realized just how smart Yugi really was, how...rational?  
  
He said that you learned by losing, got better. Like, if you kept drawing cards that weren't any help, it got you thinking about how you could improve your deck. If your opponent used a cool strategy, you were challenged to come up with ways to beat it. Or copy it.  
  
He said he really wanted someone to play who was better than him, who would teach him by challenging him.  
  
Getting 'schooled', huh?  
  
Now, most people who won all the time would be like, Woo Hoo, I'm King of the World! Wanting to lose, wanting to be not the best, but the best you can be, wanting to be challenged to achieve your full potential...  
  
That's really wise.  
  
That's why I was so shocked when he just gave up. That's not Yugi. He'd never give in. Never let one defeat destroy him.  
  
He wasn't even defeated! He won! The spirit LET him win.  
  
Like Mai let me win.  
  
Like I said, I'm not a complete amateur, I regularly last twenty turns against Yugi, and there's no way he'd do that just to make me feel good, he's too honest for that, but come on, Mai.  
  
Who do you think you're fooling? Defiantly not Yugi, given that I saw him talking to you. Throwing a duel to do the right thing. Okay, I'm impressed.  
  
I mean, I knew you were nice, deep down, even with the perfume thing, because you shared the food and I owe you my life for the shower (God, I was sweaty!), but given how you went ballistic over Joey beating you...  
  
Giving up a duel you could have easily won to let a complete amateur help a not-so-complete amateur get into the castle and compete against you?  
  
You've really changed.  
  
You really meant what you told Yugi... the other Yugi after the duel with Panik, didn't you? A fair duel.  
  
I think you are really starting to think of us as friends. Joey's crushing on you, you know. Well, obviously you know. Yugi told me what Joey said when he saw you. It was a good thing this was while we were looking for you and I was able to stop giggling by the time we found you.  
  
I wonder if you like Yugi, or the other Yugi, for a little more than just giving you those star chips.  
  
I mean, Yugi is kawaii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But the other Yugi is HOT.  
  
What? I may not be in love, but I can still look, right? Those eyes, that attitude...Must. Control. Blushing.  
  
Where can I get a spirit like that?  
  
Totally hot and totally devoted. Hey, if Yugi doesn't want him, I'll take him!  
  
Should I say that to cheer him up?  
  
Naw, he might say, here, take him for all I care or something stupid like that, and then they'll never kiss and make up.  
  
Oooh...  
  
What?!?!?! Guys like to watch girls making out! Guys have videotapes like the ones Joey and Yugi think I don't know about: girls have yaoi dojinshi. Mmmmm, bishonen...  
  
Yugi's smiling. He's cheerful, trying to catch up to Joey and everyone else on the stairs to the castle.  
  
Yay!  
  
Oh no, I thought I was over the hyper thing. I guess I was wrong!  
  
Everything's going to be fine now. Yugi's back to his old self, we're getting into the castle...  
  
What?!  
  
Go Mai! Again!  
  
I guess she is useful. I wonder if I can ask her for lessons on how to do that?  
  
No, a magician never reveals her secrets. Too bad. Oh well. Having Yugi do the puppy dog eyes is almost as good. Wonder if that's why the spirit does what he wants.  
  
Ooh, nice mental image. Pay attention to outside would before others notice glazed look.  
  
There's Kaiba! He's going to duel Pegasus now? Maybe a good thing. Give Yugi and the spirit more time to work it out.  
  
Also, I get to watch Kaiba get his butt kicked. Good Karma!  
  
Oh. That is SO wrong. Dragging Mokuba out like that...  
  
Um, I probably shouldn't hope this, but I hope the other Yugi does whatever he did to that mugger and Panik.  
  
Vegetable Pegasus stir-fry!  
  
I agree with you Joey! I never thought I'd think this, but GO Kaiba!  
  
Not that he has a prayer. I mean, Pegasus has one of these magic thingies too, since Ryou tracked it here with that ring thing. Also the whole Yugi's- Grandfather-and-Mokuba-becoming-soulless-zombies thing. So Kaiba is dead.  
  
Mind-reading? I guess drawing blind is good for that, but...  
  
Blue-Eyes! Hah, like to see you doubt the heart of the cards NOW, Kaiba!  
  
He's still dead though.  
  
Knew it. Why am I always right?  
  
The other Yugi's come out? Great! That means he and Yugi must have worked it out!  
  
I knew they would!  
  
Yugi's too nice to hate someone forever over almost doing something to help him.  
  
He didn't even actually do it, so there really isn't anything to blame him for.  
  
It'll all be okay. Yugi's a great guy, I know he'll beat Pegasus and free his Grandfather. And the Kaiba brother's too. He promised Mokuba he'd help him, and he...well, they never go back on their word.  
  
That's why they'll win. I mean, look at Pegasus.  
  
There's this great author who wrote something along the lines of, "If someone's trying to kill you, hope like hell they're evil because they'll devise some intricate death trip that'll give you an hour to escape. A good guy'll just shoot you."  
  
Pegasus spent that entire duel toying with Kaiba, I know it. He was playing him. That whole Oh No! You destroyed my monster! WAH! Thing.  
  
Yugi's not going to play you, Pegasus. It'll be war.  
  
There's not going to be a move, not a thought that isn't meant to take you down. Fast.  
  
It's your game, Pegasus? Not anymore.  
  
And I'll be there to dance on your grave.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Yay, lots of reviews! I am so happy! This was originally going to be chapter fourteen, but I was mostly through and I noticed I was doing KvsP and I didn't want to do it out of order so I am going back and doing the misc. chapter. Sorry, for the wait. I hope it won't be that long.  
  
The author is Terry Pratchett, and he is the best! If you want to check out Discworld without reading the boos, check out the author samvimes or the below reviewee!  
  
Silvershadowfire: Thanks for saying it didn't stink! Y and Y are both going a little nuts, aren't they? They aren't meant to fight! Do you know they didn't really in the sub? Yami was losing to Mai because he was ignoring her and focusing on Pegasus! The dub is actually more in character! I was stunned to hear this, I couldn't believe it until I saw it!  
  
Pharaoh's Angel: Whoa, three reviews. Here are updates! A cape would rock. And Yami is just completely devoted to Yugi, even if in a non-shonen-ai way in the show. Watch one episode and you can't miss it. Hence the title of this.  
  
AzzieAz: Thanks for responding to my review of you! I try to review at least one story of everyone who reviews me. Tell me if I miss you. I did almost every story of SilverlilyakaBloodMoon, but I love her stuff as well as her reviews. Thanks for saying I got Yami right!  
  
DoomedTarnishAngel: I was already reading your story, I'm usually just too lazy to review...thank you for not being the same!  
  
Yla/all4him: Thanks! Anything specific you liked?  
  
Zoe: Yes, please don't ignore needy me. It was good, wasn't it?;)  
  
Sylvia Viridian: Yes, Tea rocks. And Yami too. And Bakura is so creepy. I love that laugh. The line "But I can't spend all day having fun, I have things to do." while watching people get eaten...Psycho, but restrained psycho. Why torture you now, when I can spend more time on it later. I am the darkness, you can't stop me, so why should I respect you? Of course, thief King Bakura with the twelve different backup plans is cool too. A real evil genius! He's my favorite villain. 


	16. Loneliness

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, Kaiba, not Bakura, would have gotten to kill Pegasus in the manga.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVA VAVAVAVAV  
  
Where is he? I've been walking around for ages.  
  
You promised me, Pegasus. I beat Yugi for you, now I have to beat you.  
  
I need to beat you! How can I beat you if you won't show your face, you coward!  
  
Calm down, Kaiba. It's just a tactic. He's just trying to psych you out, get you all tied up in knots: he must have watched me duel Yugi, so he knows I'm here, he's just making me wait.  
  
I hate waiting. Time spent waiting equals wasted time equals time not spent beating your face into the ground equals Mokuba spending longer trapped in a lousy car...  
  
Trapped in a dungeon. I'm not letting you psych me out with out that magic stuff.  
  
But that hallucination I had while I was dueling Yugi, Mokuba trapped in my rotting dragon...  
  
Pegasus probably spiked the water on this island. It's fit his psycho sense of humor. Another thing I can charge him with when I sue his pants off. I'm going to make you suffer, Pegasus.  
  
What? This door was locked before. A room that's a big hole in the ground? With another doorway on the other side? What a loony.  
  
Finally. Here you are Pegasus.  
  
Audience?  
  
Yugi! Huh, I should have known. You're good enough to make it in here even with only half your star chips. How long'd it take you to find someone to duel?  
  
So that's why Pegasus kept me going around in circles. He wanted Yugi to see us duel.  
  
He wants Yugi to see me lose. He wants Yugi to abandon all hope. Well, he's not going to. He's going to see me kick your butt, and then he'll win this tournament and beat you again and win his grandfather back.  
  
You're going to lose this little game you're playing with us Pegasus.  
  
Thank goodness Yugi's all right; he looked really bad after I...  
  
I don't care!  
  
Pegasus.  
  
It's your game, but we're going to play by my rules. I tested this system against Yugi and Joey, and it made a difference...  
  
No.  
  
Oh no.  
  
Mokuba.  
  
You bastard.  
  
I can't...  
  
But it's giving up my only advantage! What if he's tampered with his systems? He's got some special rules for this tournament, everyone's heard about that! What if I lose because I can't stand opposite Mokuba...?  
  
I can't.  
  
I can't see him like this.  
  
I can't fight my little brother.  
  
I'm sorry, Mokuba.  
  
God, Yugi. You've been on this island all this time. What games has Pegasus played with you?  
  
I know one of them. I've been Pegasus's pawn long enough. Time to fight back.  
  
Yugi...  
  
The heart of the cards? Pegasus's Millennium Eye? That's so like you. Believing in fairy tales.  
  
Trying to help your opponent...  
  
No! I have to do this my way! My strategies work, I've beaten you, if I try to incorporate a new philosophy of dueling, it'll totally throw me off balance.  
  
...Thank you, Yugi. You're a good duelist; I'm not ashamed to say it. You're a better man than I am, trying to help me after I took your star chips. Joey's right, you shouldn't try to help me.  
  
But you're the first in a long time to try. Don't worry, Yugi, I'll win this. But it's nice to know that...  
  
Focus, Kaiba.  
  
This is too easy.  
  
How did he know? My blue eyes...how dare you? She's mine!  
  
She?  
  
Hold on, it's just a card. The important thing is, how did he know?  
  
Millennium Eye...no, he's cheating somehow? Cameras or something!  
  
What do I do? If he can predict all my moves by the cards in my hand...  
  
I can't let him see the cards. I have to draw and play right away. I need to just trust in my deck, that I've put in cards that can help me.  
  
The heart of the cards...Yugi's advice.  
  
What the hell?! It worked!  
  
The Blue Eyes came when I needed her...does this mean...  
  
Again?! What the...  
  
Maybe it isn't just a fairy tale. Maybe Yugi is right. Maybe now I know his secret, I can beat him in a fair duel.  
  
Stupid of him, to keep trying to tell his greatest opponent his best technique.  
  
Dragon Capture Jar?! Dragon Piper?!  
  
Oh no!  
  
What did I expect? That the blue eyes would be loyal to me? It's just a card!  
  
Pegasus is right, the blue eyes don't care about me the way I care about her...it.  
  
The heart of the cards...was I using it all along?  
  
Mokuba...you gave me that drawing of a blue eyes. It helped my so much, just a crayoned sketch...  
  
No.  
  
If it's loyal to anyone, it should be to Pegasus. He created it, after all.  
  
No!  
  
I can't let her be stolen from me again! I just can't! Swordstalker, attack! Defend her!  
  
A trap. He saw me coming. The whole time, just playing with me. I should have listened to you, Yugi.  
  
Mokuba.  
  
I've tried my very best.  
  
Go ahead and rub it in, Pegasus. Feel free.  
  
I failed him.  
  
I lost my only chance at rescuing my baby brother.  
  
Carrying on in this world? You're going to kill me? Go ahead.  
  
No!!!  
  
Where am I?  
  
Darkness.  
  
Cold.  
  
Loneliness.  
  
Agony...  
  
Oh god, Mokuba!  
  
Is this what he's done to you? Is this what you're condemned to, for being my brother? If you're here, then where are you?  
  
I can't give up.  
  
Yugi...Yugi, you have to save Mokuba! Please! I know I've hurt you, that he's hurt you too, but it was all my fault...  
  
All my fault. All of it. I can't blame Gozaburo for my own mistakes.  
  
I can't stand it here...  
  
It's all a lie. I haven't helped Mokuba by winning us a home, by working hard, I've just condemned him to suffer like this. I've failed you, not just this once, but in everything. You just wanted me to care about you, and I...  
  
Are all the horrible things you've done going round and round in your head?  
  
There're no cards here. No victories. Nothing but cold dark empty cold echoing with my failure...  
  
Help me! I know I don't deserve it, but help me Yugi! Anyone!  
  
I can't stand it here, alone with this horror.  
  
Alone with my self.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVA VAVAVAVA  
  
Pharoah's Angel: Thanks for saying I did a good job! Anything specific? Knowing what I did right might help me do it again...  
  
SilverShadowFire: I don't know, I think it works better with Yugi not forgiving Yami right away: he did try to kill someone, so I think having them work it out is a lot better.  
  
Sylvia Viridian: I've read him, thanks. I really thought I messed up on Tea, thanks for telling me it came off ok.  
  
Amber Eyes: I'll e-mail you as soon as I've done all this weekend's updates. Anyone else want me to let me know when I update? Check every weekend, I'll try to do stuff then.  
  
Announcement for those who care enough to read all this! I'm going to Spain for a month, and I don't know what the computer situation will be. I'll try to update every weekend, but I might not be able to until I get back. If not, I'll still write the same amount of stuff and post it when I get back! Also, DYDOM? Chapter tonight or tomorrow. 


	17. Suicide

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, Yami and Yugi would have had made a couple billion in Vegas and let Solomon retire.  
  
Okay, explanations. I am still in Spain, yet I am doing this. I thought I couldn't because I needed to see the episodes again to catch every bit of the character's reactions to mention them. That was a mistake. I originally planned to have this fic consist of characters mostly thinking back after duels, only I forgot. I don't need to see the episode to do that. And Yami only shows up at the end. So sorry this is a couple weeks later than it needed to be.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVA VAVAV  
  
I knew it. I knew Pegasus would toy with him, but showing him his brother like that...poor Kaiba. Poor, poor Kaiba.  
  
I can't hate you, even thought you created a rift between Yugi and I. Because you fight for the one who means as much to you as Yugi does to me. The one on whom your sanity depends.  
  
Yugi...I wished to spare you this. The sight of someone you wish to have as a friend suffering so much.  
  
The sight of anyone suffering so much.  
  
I thought when you released your hold on me after the duel that you had forgiven me, realized that I hoped to spare Kaiba a fate worse than death.  
  
As I said then, I will not forgive you, Pegasus. What drives you...it is not desire for power, or anything that weak.  
  
But no matter what it is, it is not enough to justify this. The one you fight for...would be no more forgiving than I.  
  
Did you laugh? There was mockery in your voice. Expecting wonderful performances from all your finalists?  
  
I hope you're amused. Someone should be getting some joy from this.  
  
Yugi...is desperate, but not desperate enough to rely on me again. Even after Mai's kind act, he will not accept my aid.  
  
After he recovered from the agony that had caused him to drop his barrier to cry inside in sympathy for Kaiba and Mokuba, he was enraged.  
  
Enraged I had taken over, though I did nothing but talk to Pegasus.  
  
I did not hurt your friends, did I my light? Can't you trust me?  
  
No.  
  
Not after what I did.  
  
What I refuse to let you know I didn't intend to do.  
  
No.  
  
I won't cause you that pain. I won't let you suffer. But how can I prevent it? If you continue to focus all your strength on watching me, making sure I don't 'break free', you won't be able to make it past your first match.  
  
Joey fights for his sister. Even though he knows you need to win, even though he values you as a true friend, he won't surrender.  
  
He'll trust in the heart of the cards, that the best man will win. And even though you are a far greater duellist than him...  
  
Like this, you will fall.  
  
Bandit Keith...Pegasus used the Millennium Eye on you. Nothing else could explain the scene Kaiba described when he arrived on the island. And you know that something was wrong with what happened.  
  
You know he cheated somehow, and humiliated you. And you are desperate for revenge. Is that what made you the man you are today?  
  
Given how you were cheated, now you will not hesitate to cheat. You would do anything to win, to defeat Pegasus as you were defeated.  
  
You were not always like this. Cheating causes one to rely on cheating and neglect strategy. You would never have been able to invent the strategy Bones used at your command if you had relied on cheating for long.  
  
Never have been able to become the American champion without getting caught.  
  
You ruin lives and souls and honor, Pegasus. What could be worth this?  
  
Yugi...a strategist like that...you can't face him at less than your best. No matter what he once was, I can't let you lose to someone like him!  
  
And Mai...I owe you Mai. After I won those star chips back from Panic from you, you promised me a fair duel.  
  
You look forward to it. I owe you it. As a friend, as a duellist. As the one who gave Yugi hope that he could fight me.  
  
Would he would fight me instead of wasting his energy holding me back! Would he would argue with me, fight me, let me lose to him!!  
  
I may be going mad. I can't stand this. I can't stand him hating me.  
  
Oh, how I hate you Pegasus. Your sick little game...how many have you destroyed? How many souls have you trapped, to gain the power you possess?  
  
Kaiba...poor, poor Kaiba. Poor Mokuba. You were misguided, but you do not deserve this.  
  
You both fought Yugi, at Death-T for pride and here for each other, but you do not deserve the price of your failure.  
  
Mokuba...I promised you that together we would defeat Pegasus. Then I fought the false Kaiba for your freedom and won...and Pegasus took you anyway, from right under my nose.  
  
I am sorry. I failed you and now Pegasus has your brother as well.  
  
I will make good mine and Yugi's promise. I will save you both.  
  
Yugi and I fighting together...there is nothing that can stand against us. Which is why Pegasus went to such lengths to separate us.  
  
You are both trapped, as I was. As Yugi's grandfather is. I...I may not be able to free you. May not be able to get Yugi to forgive me, may become Pegasus's possession.  
  
As things stand, Yugi would willingly, eagerly, trade me for his grandfather's freedom. And I...  
  
I could not blame him. The one who has guarded him and made him happy all his life, for the one who has failed to do so?  
  
Curse you, Pegasus. I will curse you until the end of time for bringing us to this.  
  
I will never forgive you. If I lost my anger, if I allowed myself to focus on the situation...  
  
Kaiba, Mokuba, Solomon, Yugi...I swear I will not let you fall to Pegasus.  
  
Even if it means I have to do the thing I swore I would never do: take over Yugi against his wishes.  
  
Even if I have to do what he fears, and use my powers against my opponents.  
  
Even if it means he takes apart the puzzle as soon as I release him.  
  
Yugi...I will do anything for you.  
  
Even die.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVA VAVAVAV  
  
Well, that was easy. Things are better when you're back on track, wot?  
  
Responses:  
  
Pharaohs Angel: Wow, thanks!  
  
Sylvia Viridian: Yes, it's going to be fun to write him believing in magic and then trying to deny it to save his sanity. Though it's annoying as hell in the show.  
  
Silvershadowfire: I am, so far. Thanks!  
  
Amber Eyes: He isn't, not really. He tries to act strong, but he's really just...brittle.  
  
Yla/all4him: Like I told SSF, I am. And thanks for saying I did a good job. Anything specific you liked? I love details! 


	18. Understanding

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, Yugi would get to have magic!  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVA VAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Just for a second, I felt...  
  
I could have sworn...  
  
Break it down. Use the intelligence that lets you win at recess, against Grandpa. You can do things without the spirit helping you.  
  
I felt anguish when Mokuba was brought out, but...disregard that. It could have just been me.  
  
At the beginning of Kaiba's match against Pegasus, there was...dread. The knowledge that something horrible was going to happen. To Kaiba.  
  
And...regret? Connected to Kaiba...but as much as I hope it was, I don't think he was regretting trying to let him die. No...letting him live. Letting this horrible thing that was about to happen happen.  
  
Then, a little later, resignation.  
  
When Kaiba was winning, when he drew the Blue-Eyes, there was fear for him. Why when he was winning? Was he afraid Pegasus was going to do something to him?  
  
When he lost, lost his soul, there was anger. Rage. Compassion?  
  
I should have been paying attention. But I was caught in my own anger and anguish.  
  
Curse you, Pegasus! He was only trying to help his brother, just protect the people he cares about like Joey and me and...  
  
And the spirit?  
  
How could you do this to him, to us? This sick, twisted game...And while I cried inside, I lost my control over my body.  
  
The spirit came out. But...  
  
He didn't hurt anyone, not even Pegasus. He just promised to free them. To Defeat Pegasus.  
  
Defeat. Not kill. If he wouldn't kill Pegasus, maybe he wouldn't kill anyone else? Especailly Joey?  
  
He...he's the other me.  
  
Did he attack Kaiba because he loved Grandpa and wanted to rescue him whatever the cost?  
  
Or does he only care about winning.  
  
For so long I wasn't aware of him at all. He'd speak to me and the voice was so like mine, I just thought it was my own thoughts.  
  
That's why it's so hard to tell what he's feeling. I don't have any practice, and his feelings are so like mine it's hard to tell who they come from.  
  
Is he from the puzzle, is he me, something the puzzle created from me, what?  
  
I need to know. I Need to know. Can I trust him? Can I trust myself?  
  
I want to. Oh, how I want to.  
  
I admire him. He's strong, brave, smart...everything I wanted to be. Kaiba admires him. Kaiba, who I admired before he stole my Grandpa's card.  
  
He didn't have friends, like me, but he didn't need them. He was strong and smart and good at games...  
  
And even then, after Death-T and everything, I still admire him. For being willing to give up his life to save his brother.  
  
How is that different from accepting someone's sacrifice to save my Grandpa?  
  
I would have tried to rescue Mokuba. Made that part of the deal. Wagered my own soul as well as the Puzzle.  
  
Was that the spirit's excuse? Accepting Kaiba's sacrifice, saving Mokuba as he wished to do, and as it turns out, could not do, himself?  
  
I don't know.  
  
Lives and souls are on the line. So much lies on every little decision. Or a not-so-little dicision.  
  
Do I trust him?  
  
I yelled at him for taking over my body. Sent hate as hard as I could. I felt apology.  
  
I mean, he's been taking over my body tons of times to help me out. I've never complained before. He could have thought me stopping trying to block him meant I didn't mind if he came out, took over when I couldn't handle myself.  
  
Like he has so many times before.  
  
Apology.  
  
He still hasn't apologized for Kaiba. He feels...regret and sadness, but he hasn't apologized.  
  
On the other hand, he hasn't had a chance to speak to Kaiba, and why apologize to me? I wasn't hurt.  
  
And...he was angry. On Kaiba's behalf. He was resolved to help Kaiba.  
  
He always helps people. It's the way he is.  
  
I think. I hope. I don't know.  
  
I want to trust him. It hurts, not trusting him. Like I'm hurting a part of myself.  
  
I can't feel much hurt, but I know it's there. He's so controlled. It's like he doesn't want me to feel guilty.  
  
He cares that much?  
  
If he was just born when I solved the puzzle, maybe he didn't know it was wrong? Maybe he just thought it was the logical decision.  
  
I need to talk to him. But how do I know he won't just lie?  
  
Come on, he's kind of a friend. I'd give Joey a second chance, wouldn't I?  
  
But just letting someone die, just shrugging it off...That's a lot more than teasing. That's ...evil?  
  
I don't know what he is. I don't know if I can trust him. I just have to have some time to think.  
  
Get through this tournament. Then, if we're all still in one piece, sit down with this spirit and ask who he is.  
  
For now...I can't take the chance he'll hurt someone else.  
  
Even if he is on my side, he's willing to sacrifice lives for me. It's flattering, but I'm not worth it. Nothing is worth it.  
  
I just have to get that through to him.  
  
Right?  
  
He'll understand, right?  
  
He will. He has to.  
  
But...Kaiba failed. Utterly. He never stood a chance. He put everything on the line, put his heart and soul into the game, and failed. Pegasus was laughing at him the whole time.  
  
I need the spirit. He's the only reason I was able to beat Kaiba in the first place. I know that now.  
  
The voice that called out to me when I was afraid...  
  
I can't trust him. But I have to trust him!  
  
Oh god. This is like with Kaiba.  
  
Taking the risk of hurting someone, or giving up all chance of saving the one I care about. Or ones.  
  
And I was considering it. Unleashing the spirit, letting him hurt whoever stands in his way.  
  
It seemed so simple. After all, Kaiba might not have carried through on his threat, right?  
  
Is that what the spirit was counting on? No, he knew Kaiba was going to do it. Admired him for it.  
  
He can spot bluffs. Easily. It's almost scary, how sharp he is. Sharp like a knife.  
  
He hasn't tried to convince me. Is he just standing back and letting me convince myself?  
  
He can analyze his opponents perfectly, just based on chatter across a duel station. How much does he know about me?  
  
Did he know I'd tie myself in knots?  
  
How can I trust him, trust myself, when he could wrap me around his little finger?  
  
He knows people. Inside and out.  
  
How can I know him?  
  
How can I understand him?  
  
I need to know.  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVA VAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Pharaohs Angel: Thanks for telling me what you liked!  
  
I Believe In You: Thanks for many reviews. The quote is from Dante's Inferno, it's over the mouth of hell.  
  
Subieko: God, I love you. You reviewed like every single chapter! And told me what you liked! All hail Subieko!  
  
Amber Eyes: Thanks for telling me I made you emphathize.  
  
Silvershadowfire: You're welcome. And isn't it though? I'm pretty good at getting in people's heads, aren't I? 


	19. Plea

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, the Red-Eyes would be just as strong as the Blue-Eyes.  
  
Important Announcement: The last weekend of the Spain Class is coming up, and people are going to need to use the few computers to work on their projects. I've mostly done mine, just some tweaking left, but others aren't so lucky. So I am going to leave the computers to them. I am doing this in advance, but don't count on updates to other stories until the weekend after next, when I am home. I promise I will still write just as much, though. I'll do a ton when I get home. Please be patient!  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVA VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
God.  
  
I never thought I'd say this, but poor Kaiba. That bastard Pegasus, showing him his brother like that...and then rubbing it in that he failed him.  
  
His last words were an apology to his brother for failing him. He said he tried his best.  
  
Pegasus's response? Your best failed you!  
  
Bastard.  
  
Right, Yug. We won't let him get away with this. Even Kaiba doesn't deserve to be trapped forever is a damn piece of cardboard.  
  
Wait...was it Yugi? That voice...our Yugi's never that strong sounding. I mean, he is strong, but you'd never know it until you see him in a tough spot.  
  
I haven't seen him in a tough spot since he let the spirit take over at Death-T. He thanked Tea an' me for reassuring him we'd still be his friends even if he had gone nuts, and said he'd never be afraid of the spirit again.  
  
I guess he isn't, if he's letting him out.  
  
And thank god he is. 'Cause Yugi needs him. Without him, he just got beat up by Ushio. I mean, courage is important, but what'd that guy say?  
  
Speak softly and carry a big stick.  
  
Yug speaks softly, alright. And the spirit's his stick. If he just throws him away...  
  
Yug's gonna be the one to face Pegasus. Nothing's gonna stop him. Not even me. I gonna have to fight him, I can't just give up on helping my sis by winning the prise money for her operation...but I guess I knew I wouldn't make it all the time.  
  
I came because...I wanted to help Yug'. He gave me that star, it was him who made this all possible.  
  
I owe him for being here, for giving me the chance to dream, even for a little while, that I could save my sis.  
  
And I'll pay you back, Yug'.  
  
I'll give you one hell of a warm-up match in the finals.  
  
I won't let anyone but you beat me, Yug. And you'll have to try your hardest.  
  
It'll be the toughtest duel of your life, tougher than anyone else, even Kaiba, could throw at you. And afterwards, you'll be ready to beat that creep. And save Gramps, and that Mokuba brat who poisoned me, and Kaiba.  
  
Stupid Kaiba. Calling me a dog. Made me so mad.  
  
But you don't deserve what's been done to you. You don't. No one does. I can't let that happed to Yug'. Not to my best bud.  
  
He'll win. Everyone here is fighting for something. Well, except Mai.  
  
But Kaiba was fighting for the person he cares about more than anything...  
  
Forget it.  
  
The duel's over. Pegasus won. Tomorrow's the finals.  
  
Wonderful performances from all our finalists, you said?  
  
Yeah, the duels are gonna be brutal. Mai's tough, Keith's a cheating bastard, I am going to go all out even though I'm doomed, and Yug...  
  
Yug was worried about the spirit usin' magic or something to beat his opponent. I don't see the problem.  
  
There's nothing in the rules of duel monsters against magic. Doubt Pegasus would have made himself a cheater.  
  
When you're fighting for family, anything goes.  
  
All's fair in love and war, don't they say? And this is both. Kaiba knew that. The spirit knows that.  
  
Kaiba's a bastard, but I gotta say...if it was Serenity's life on the line, I'd do the same in a heartbeat. I mean, what'v I got to look forward to?  
  
Bad grades, no money...sis has got her whole life ahead of her.  
  
Did Kaiba feel the same? He must'v, I see now. At the time, I thought he was bluffing, but now...he put his soul on the line, ya gotta respect that.  
  
But what's Kaiba got to complain about? He's got tons to live for! He's rich, and a genius, and...  
  
And Tea was right. He's got nothing when it's all over. Except Mokuba. And now he really has got nothing. Not even himself.  
  
Yug...you're staring at the puzzle now. You look angry, and it's not at Pegasus. So you didn't forgive the spirit or whatever?  
  
Damn.  
  
What can I do?  
  
If I try to convince him the spirit did the right thing, that Kaiba wanted to die to help his brother, he'll just think I'm saying that 'cause I hate Kaiba.  
  
He won't listen to me. I don't know what to do.  
  
Damn you, Yugi! You and that spirit are everyone's only hope! You've gotta work together!  
  
I guess you might get what you fought for, Kaiba. 'Cause of you, you and your brother might be trapped forever.  
  
Yug looks so distracted. I don't think he can duel like this. Not for real. You gotta put your whole heart into the game. You can't hold back, pay attention to anything else.  
  
I might beat you, if you're like this. For the first time. And then I'll be the one to face Pegasus.  
  
And I'll lose. I'm nothing compared to Yug as a duelist, and I don't have a spirit to lend me a hand.  
  
I'll give it my best, for Serenity, for Gramps, for Yug, for the Kaibas even, but...  
  
My best will fail me. I can't lie to myself.  
  
I tell myself I'm strong, but I actually do know my limits. I know when going into a fight is suicide.  
  
But that doesn't stop me from tryin'.  
  
But I don't want to end up alone in a piece of paper, knowing I failed everyone I cared about.  
  
Yug...you've saved us so many times. Is it too much to ask you to save me one, just one more time?  
  
Come on, Yugi. Can't you work it out? You always get me an' Tristan to see sense.  
  
Can't you just talk to the person who shares your mind?  
  
I mean, he's gotta be willin' to lissen, I know it.  
  
I've seen him duel. He fights like he cares.  
  
You know? Heart of the Cards. You can't pull it off if your heart isn' in it.  
  
He's not a bad guy, Yug. Juss lissen to him.  
  
Please, for Kaiba's sake? For all our sakes?  
  
Please?  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVA VAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Yes, the accent does turn on and off. It's deliberate. Look at the context.  
  
Pharaohs Angel: Yes. It shows him just deciding and then changing his mind, but it's something he would spend some time on, isn't it?  
  
Chibi Pharaoh Yami: Thanks!  
  
Subieko: Nail on the head. Thanks for telling me I pulled it off.  
  
Amber Eyes: Well, what's going on is depressing. I can't really avoid it.  
  
Silvershadowfire: Well, Yugi has known about having a separate presence for very little time, really. He's used to everything in his head coming from him. Wheras Yami has known he's a guest either since the beginning or for a long time.  
  
Sylvia Viridian: Right, that is Yami's personality. 'I'm the king, everyone depends on me, I have to do it all on my own...' He charges off and the priests have to scramble to catch up. He doesn't even tell them what he's doing. I don't think he ever got over his father's death really, before he died. I picture him as a workaholic as pharaoh. That is what really is going on in the Mai duel: Yami agrees to let Yugi be the one in control, relinquishing responsibility. Oops, I really should have waited on saying that. Oh well, I'll go into more detail when I do that duel. 


	20. Scepticism

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, they would show Mai's duels!  
  
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What the heck?  
  
What are you talking about, Yugi?  
  
Pegasus is reading Kaiba's mind? No way!  
  
But... how did he do that? This is just too weird.  
  
And that thing with bringing out Kaiba's little brother...was he drugged or what? Anyways, that was just WRONG.  
  
Yugi telling him about the heart of the cards, that he needed to trust in it... it was like he thought Kaiba's life depended on it. On winning. The heart of the cards? Joey drawing Time Wizard against me...  
  
What the heck is going on here? Since I started hanging out with these losers...Yugi asking me what I dueled for, I listed the obvious things: money, clothes, travel, and it was like he was disappointed in me. Like he was fighting for something much, much more important.  
  
It's just a game! Just for fun and what winning can bring you!  
  
Right?  
  
Kaiba was fighting for his brother back. Wagering his soul... he was just a shell after he lost. He wasn't just crushed, he was horrified and this light and then... nothing. No one home.  
  
Gods. Is this for real?  
  
Yugi wouldn't be like this if it wasn't. Crying.  
  
All this horrible stuff has happened, because of a card game?  
  
You're here to help your families, you and Joey? Gods. It makes me look so...petty.  
  
With the perfumes thing and everything. Gods, it's so embarrassing now. Was I that weak, that I needed to rely on a cheap trick like that to win? Did I have that little confidence in myself?  
  
Seeing you, Yugi... you've changed me.  
  
Now you're all stern, like you're condemning Pegasus. Such contempt and anger. You hate him. Hate the creator of a card game you like?  
  
This seriousness... it's like everyone here has their life on the line.  
  
It's just a game!  
  
But it's not, is it. Not to you and Joey.  
  
Joey wants to help his sister. It's like a bad soap opera, geez. And Yugi was talking about his Grandpa... did what happened to Kaiba and his little brother happen to him?  
  
Winning his soul back... I can't believe I am actually taking this seriously. But everyone else is.  
  
Pegasus was talking about the final resting place of Kaiba's soul... is there some game, some joke that everyone's in on but me? Bandit Keith was surprised too. He's got a good poker face, but I'm a pro too.  
  
It was like he was going that's right, like it was explaining something he'd wondered about. He hates Pegasus too. Everyone seems to.  
  
Gods.  
  
Man, I'm saying that a lot.  
  
I am totally out of my depth here. Whatever is going on...  
  
I'm just a duelist. A good one. This is a tournament. And I'm going to win it. I wanted a fair duel with you, Yugi. I promised you.  
  
I will fight you. And win. I am the best. Why do I need to prove it to myself?  
  
If I beat everyone here, I'll win the duel with Pegasus.  
  
Gods. I hope it's just some joke. If it were true... that'd be horrible.  
  
Kaiba. The little kid. An old man. And Yugi's going to try to duel Pegasus.  
  
Was that why he was so broken when he lost to Kaiba? Because he lost the star chips he needed to get into the castle to win the finals to duel Pegasus to rescue his Grandpa?  
  
I knew there's no way he'd get that upset about a single loss. It just didn't fit with what I've seen of him.  
  
He's so cute, and friendly, but when he duels, he's so serious, so strong. He actually cares about people, even cheaters like me, but he's not weak. He's stronger than I am.  
  
Growing up alone...he's way too lucky, having friends like those.  
  
Way too unlucky, getting caught up in this madness.  
  
No.  
  
It's not a game. Yugi would have let me in on the joke if there was one, he's too honest. He couldn't act that well. He was crying. There were tears. There one minute, and gone the next...  
  
He completely changed.  
  
What is going on here?  
  
It's a joke. Just a joke. A little play, to make the tournament more exciting.  
  
But...  
  
No. I came here to win, and I'm going to win. I'll beat Yugi and whoever else I come up against, and I'll duel Pegasus and probably lose, given how he whupped Kaiba's ass after playing with him.  
  
But at the end of the day, I'm taking home that prize money.  
  
And Yugi and Kaiba and everyone are going to be fine. I can check out Joey's sister, see how much money she needs, set up some kind of easy loan... I've got tons of money saved up. More than I could spend in a lifetime, unless I was the total airhead I let people think I am.  
  
Being underestimated rocks. I love what I did to Rex on the boat! Male pig. Sheesh, it was too easy.  
  
I'm going to help you guys.  
  
Why do I want to? You're opponents... but it's just a game, and you've helped me, including not telling everyone about my cheap trick. I'd never have lived it down.  
  
You're nice people. I want to help you. I don't know why. I've never owed anyone as much as I owe you, Yugi. And don't think these measly bits of plastic are all I'm going to pay you back with. That would be cheating.  
  
I'm going to give you that fair duel. I'm going to try my hardest to beat you into the ground. I owe you that.  
  
And after this... you need me, I'm there.  
  
If this is for real... if I'm fighting Pegasus anyway... why did I say fighting? It's not really going to be a duel for my life, not a real battle, right?  
  
Anyways. This is probably just a game. But if I beat you and take away your chance at Pegasus, I'll duel him for you. It'd actually be a good thing, because my beating you would mean I'm better than you, so I'd have a better chance of winning against him.  
  
So I wouldn't be winning selfishly, taking the victories you actually need, not just want, away.  
  
I owe you. I want to help you, because I owe you. Right? Or is it more than that.  
  
Whatever. It's just a game.  
  
Right?  
  
VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVA VAVAVAVAVAVAV  
  
Subieko: They do. After all, Yugi's always been strong...  
  
Amber Eyes: It will improve in the Mai duel. Sorry!  
  
Shandrial: Exactly!  
  
Sylvia Viridian: Mai thinks that in the Vathara story Rolling the Bones. Everyone, read that story!!!!!!  
  
Silvershadowfire: I'm doing the viewpoints of everyone who was there. On everything. See my author page for a list. And read my rant.  
  
Pharaoh Atemu's Angel: Here you go! 


	21. Remorse

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, Ryou would get a personality!

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Poor Kaiba. Poor, poor Kaiba.

I know he's been somewhat of a jerk, but he doesn't deserve it. None of us deserve it. Trapped alone, knowing he's failed…I've failed.

This demon in my head is going to mess with my mind so I won't know to fight him anymore. And everyone thinks he's gone.

I'll be trailing around after them, happy as a clam. Containing their destruction. That is, if we survive this.

I will.

Pegasus… the demon is laughing his head off, right now. About how he wished he could do that to Kaiba. Monster.

But even after Pegasus destroyed, annihilated Kaiba so easily, the demon doesn't take him seriously.

It's like… a wolf, looking at a Chihuahua trying to attack it. It's yapping and jumping, and as soon as the wolf recovers from the shock and amusement, it's going to be dinner.

He said Pegasus' desire for the Items was_cute_!

The demon is nuts.

Yugi let his demon take him over again, after watching the duel. The fool…

You can't trust them. You can't. As mine said, they are darkness.

He'll destroy you. Or get you destroyed. Pegasus is after you because of him and his Item. So is mine.

You're dead. My friend, the innocent one, the kind one who welcomed a strange boy with a jinxed past, is dead.

And I can't stop it.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

VAVAVAVAVAV

Ha!

That Kaiba brat is an idiot, thinking he could stand up against Pegasus.

In a normal duel, Millennium Item versus no Millennium Item equals a duel over in five seconds. Unless you're me.

I walked into the court and took on all of them, and I was beating them until the Pharaoh summoned that god. Beating them with the power of my hate.

Even a god couldn't stop me. I defeated the next god you summoned, Pharaoh. And then I beat your precious priest.

Even now he fights for you. I wonder what he thought of having your little host's soul inside him?

That was the first Millennium Item I got. And then I got your puzzle, Pharaoh.

I got almost all of them. I almost had my family back. Before you killed me.

And now you're here and I wonder why?

Family. I'm after you because of what your father did. You took me on to defend his body. The Kaiba brat, who I swear is the high priest, was fighting for his brother.

Heh. Deserved what he got. Going into something like that without a plan, letting his enemy manipulate him… I waited until I was strong to seek my revenge.

And in that time he died! Akunamukanon died! Died, and I can never kill him! Why couldn't he have been the one to be here!

You're a poor substitute, Pharaoh.

But I'll kill you anyway. And I'll laugh.

But I'm sorry, everyone. Sorry I failed you. Sorry you won't get your revenge on your murderer.

I'm sorry.

VAVAVAVAVAV

He won. Why am I not surprised.

I ushered the finalists in, told them of the show my master had prepared. Looked at their faces.

I'm not looking now. I'd better see if Master Pegasus needs anything.

He wanted Kaiba's shell to wash dishes? I'd better put him to work. Pegasus will probably ask soon what has been done with him, and he won't be pleased if I just put him in a dungeon.

If I put him in a dungeon with his brother.

Why did I ever take this job? But now I'm trapped. He won't let me go. If I even think about leaving, he'll know.

He's walking along because we're prompting him, and there's no one home.

But I bet he's screaming.

And it almost looks like there is reproach behind his eyes, as his face randomly gazes in my direction.

Look, kid, what do you expect me to do? If I tried anything, I'd end up in one of those cards. I don't have any magic. I can't do a thing.

I'm just as trapped as you.

Sorry, kid, but I can't help you.

I'm sorry.

VAVAVAVAVAV

That… that bastard.

I mean, Joey's one of my best buds, and Kaiba's a jerk to him and Yugi, but this…

You said it, Yugi. Both of you. It's inhuman and horrible, and he needs to pay.

He can't get away with this. But he's not gonna.

The other Yugi's back, definitely. The way he said all that to Pegasus… he's not gonna let him get away with it. Not in a thousand years.

I hope he kills the bastard. Some people just don't deserve to live!

But Yugi wouldn't want that. So he won't.

Bastard has to be cheating somehow. Seeing Kaiba's cards… I'm going to come back here tonight. Find out how he's cheating and stop it. Hidden camera?

I hope it's not magic like Yugi said. Magic I can't do anything about.

I came here to help my buddy out, and I'm going to help them every way I can.

I'm going to be here cheering them on. Yugi and Joey. The best men will win.

You hear that, Pegasus? They're going to kick your ass.

I'm just sorry I won't be the one doing it.

VAVAVAVAVAV

Bastard. Bastard.

Seeing Kaiba's cards… that's what he did to me! I knew it, I knew it!

There's no way he could have predicted my strategy! I'm a champion!

The cheating_bastard_!

I'm going to kick his ass! I've got tons of tricks up my sleeve, just you wait!

Heh.

Up my sleeve. Won't help you to see my hand if I can 'draw' things to defeat you whenever I want.

I ought to be ashamed of myself. But I'll do whatever it takes to beat you.

I'll get my pride back. I'll be King of Games, the guy who beat the creator of the game. The champion. Like I used to be.

I remember when I was all young and full of pride. Before I was crushed.

I would have been ashamed of myself, when I was just starting out, at the thought of cheating.

I took losing gracefully, vowing to work hard and get them next time.

My younger self would have held me in contempt.

Look, I'm sorry. But I can't let him get away with what he did to me. I won't.

VAVAVAVAVAV

Subieko: My thoughts exactly.

Pharaoh Atemu's Angel: Here you go. And I'm glad you want more.

Slyvia Viridian: Yes, Mai rocks.

Amber Eyes: Go to my author profile. I have my planned chapters there. Everyone: Read my profile!

Shining Charizard: Thanks. I have my own timeline worked out. Basically, I follow the manga until the end of Vol. 7, then I go with the eng anime mostly, except for Doom arc, etc, which I havn't seen. I don't like Yu-gi-oh R, and am using the Pegasus-survives story of the Doom Arc. And I am obsessive. It's scary.

Spiderdude: Thanks for feeding my ego.


	22. Failure

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh... oh wait. Kisara did get to screw over Akunadin. Go Kazuki Takahashi!

Info for people who haven't seen the manga: The blue-eyes white dragon was inside a girl named Kisara. Seth (Seto's previous life) rescued her, Akunadin (Seth's father, who wanted him to be Pharaoh) wanted him to take her ka (the Blue-Eyes) and defeat Atemu, but he refused and told her to run. Akunadin killed her, and to save her, Seth sealed her in a tablet. Then Akunadin controlled Seth and made him attack Atemu (the battle shown during their duel in Battle City). Kisara broke him free from the mind control. At least, I'm pretty sure that's what happened. Correct me if I'm wrong.

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I failed him.

I failed him.

Oh gods.

I'm so sorry. So, so sorry, my Master my love. I tried. I truly did.

I was grateful to him at first. Creating these 'cards' bringing my ka's form into the world as the tablet you saved me by sealing my soul in did.

I knew you lived. And I swore to find you.

My image on a poster. I saw you then. Then, your little brother drew a picture of me to watch over you. And I did. I healed your heart, then.

But it did not last. The cruel one found me. And took me away. I despaired. So close... it was like leaving you in Akunadin's clutches. Too like. Your father, but not a true one. Not one who truly cared for you. One who wished to use you to hold the power he craved.

I heard from others that you dueled. I couldn't believe what they said. You fought without care for your allies? How could that be?

When I saw you again... I would have cried, if dragons could cry. The harsh but noble one who saved me from the stoning, who was willing to give up my power to let me live, a thief?

I wish I could tell myself you wanted me, but in truth you only wanted my power. You stole me, and wished me to attack the Pharaoh, under the control of your darkness as you had been under my killer's control.

I didn't know what to do. You didn't hear my cries. I knew that the true you could not wish this... so I destroyed myself rather than obey you and attack.

Then the Pharaoh revived me, and used me to defeat you. My heart ached... but I hoped it was for the best. You wished to duel him again, when he died... perhaps you could win me?

He sent you to learn to care for your allies. To let them work their vengeance on you. And in their anger, they killed you again and again. I could not protect you, for I was not among them. But I hunted them down afterwards. NO ONE may touch you and live!

But you did not learn. My other holders... you hunted them down, used cruel tactics to gain me. Ruined lives, caused a death... for me.

I was flattered. Some of me. My dragon nature. The rest of me... mourned. And hoped. And wished... but despaired. But I would fight for you. I owed you too much not to.

And then you came for the fourth card. He was a kind man, but for you I crushed him. And then you destroyed my vessal.

Did you truly think so little of me, that I would serve another?

And then the Pharaoh fought you again. And this time... this time my dragon nature came to the fore, and I fought only. And he crushed you, and broke you.

And I was angry and I rejoiced.

And then I was stolen by your darkness. Why am I always pitted against him, the one you honor, by darkness!? Why can you never have the honest duel you pled with him for, while he died?!

And you called to me. And I killed myself again for you. I owe you my life. And I fought for the Pharaoh, against your dark self. And he aided me. And returned me to you, where I belonged.

And then you made me stronger, but the pharaoh poisoned me. But by your bravery and pure heart, I was able to gain victory for you in the end.

And now... I have failed. Stolen again and again, controlled... I was grateful to him! Thanks to him I found you, but why... he dares! He dares use me against you! And in your desire to defend me, to save me from being controlled as I once saved you, you lost.

I have failed you. I'm sorry.

And now you are trapped in the Shadow Realm, like me, but I cannot reach you. And you do not belong here, as I do now. I can sense through you bond your fear and despair.

Pharaoh! By freeing him I saved you! Save him! You have the power now, as you did not when you were dying. Give me back my Master, the one I serve, the one I love, who might have loved me had I not been killed!

Please!

I cannot bear this. For me, being trapped in a talisman, a tablet was my salvation, a card my freedom to help the one I cared for.

For him, it is a curse. Trapped in eternal darkness, knowing he has failed the one he cares for, as I have failed him.

And my cruel dragon nature asks me why I care. True, he saved me from the townspeople who wished to stone me because I was different, but I was immedietly placed in danger by him for my Ka. He attempted, twice, to save me from this, but twice, he failed, and I had to save him. The second time, I died.

But I am more than the dragon. I have my human soul, what he saved. He did not fail me! He did not!

But I have failed him.

Now I know how the Pharaoh felt. Watching his rival turned into a killer hungry for his blood. Helpless to do anything, weak and dying and desperate not to have his blood on this man's hands...

If you have any gratitude to me, save him!

Seth... Kaiba killed me while I was controlled. He has freed me as I freed him, back then. He would not let me languish in the hands of another. And I will not let him stay in the hands of this Pegasus.

Pharaoh! I wish to aid you. But my cards do not rest in your hands. I am trapped, in Pegasus's possession.

Pity he isn't fool enough to try to use me. I would rejoice to be summoned into the shadow realm in his presence so I could rip and tear and scream my anger...

My despair. I have failed. Seth's fate is not in my hands.

VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV

Pharaoh Atemu's Angel: Here you go.

Cherazz222784: I recommend janime for manga info. And Jennyiah's scanlations. That was Bakura. But most of the things I did to identify him require knowledge of the manga.

Silvershadowfire: That was Mai. For a hint, read the disclaimer. I try to keep them relevant. And I already did Kaiba.

Chibi Pharaoh Yami: Whoa. Impatient, aren't we? I love it!

Spiderdude: Here you go.

Amber Eyes: It will quit being so soon.

Subieko: Thanks. You review a lot, I love it.

Shining Charizard: Pegasus next. See my profile for upcoming chappies.


	23. Motivation

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh a once-nice guy like Pegasus wouldn't have been given the M. Eye and turned psycho.

I'm getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow, so no idea when next update. Sorry.

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Ha!

Your best failed you!

So, so arrogant. Wanting to see who the true master of my game was, the 'Champion' or the Creator? Like you _ever_ had a chance, Kaiba-boy.

And now your soul, like your brother's, is mine. Mine all mine. And what a strong soul it is...

My game does seem to attract the powerful, doesn't it? Like those with power in their own souls can feel the beat in the cards, the power they provide access to, and crave it more than anything.

People have ruined themselves over my little game. Sold their houses to buy a single card that cried out to them with the power they had been born longing for, searching for the sheildmate the cruel world denied them...

Suicided over losing duels. What, you thought your maneuver with little Yugi was new?

I used to kidnap people to make them play my game. To lose their souls to me. Until I found those who jumped into my clutches were far, far more suitable.

Offer to show them my power, how to grasp what was just within their reach, the wonder in their eyes when I summoned their favorite monster...

I don't have that power. That addiction. It's just a game to me. The 'Shadow Realm' would kill me in an instant. But my Millennium Eye protects me.

The Heart of the Cards young Yugi-boy wanted to tell Kaiba about? There are few who willingly fight for me. Relinquished and others are loyal servants, but out of fear. I would sacrifice them in a heartbeat for my goals. And they know it. There is not the devotion that Yugi's Dark Magician feels, trusting in his Pharaoh to protect him, but willing to die if he must, nor the wild desperation of Kaiba's Blue-Eyes, attempting to fight against me when I tried to use her against him.

She fought. For all the good it did. A monster can't stop me, even if they are more than ink on paper. This is _my_ game, after all.

No one can fight me.

I will get what I want.

Not for me a Monster to fight beside. A light self or a little brother?

I want my wife. I want me Cecelia.

You understand that, don't you? All you who stand before me here, finalists, duelists with magic pulsing around you, power untapped (save for you, Yugi-boy)...

You know what I can do. You just saw me do my worst to Kaiba. Yet you still want to win.

Valentine, Keith... the hearts in your bodies and the hearts of your decks are pumping fast and strong. You long for victory with all your hearts. True duelists, I salute you.

I look forward to adding you to my collection.

Wheeler? A newbie... but so strong, so fast? Taught by the best: Yugi-boy, the Pharaoh, and the old champion I already hold, but what in you recognized this power, what force in you called luck to heel?

I'm going to need all the luck I can get, to get here back. Yours will be a start. You fight for your sister and your friend. I have no fear of you backing out. You'll lay your head on the chopping block for me.

As you already did, Kaiba-boy, for your brother. You fought for the privilege of handing me the strongest soul in my collection so far. The strongest I've even seen, save Yugi-boy's.

Yugi-boy... you fight for your grandfather. And now you fight to free Kaiba, to 'punish' me for the 'evil' I've done.

But the ends justify the means. Too bad you'll never learn that.

I would have been satisfied with just the puzzle. But your power... that light... it will be mine.

Pharaoh... you fight for justice, but more for the one whose soul you share. You crave his light too, don't you.

What wouldn't you do for him? What are the limits of your devotion?

Oh come on. You can't be willing to do anything for him.

I'm the only one who loves that much. I'm willing to do anything, anything, for Cynthia.

And that's what separates me from the rest of you.

You fight for such a shallow thing as mere victory? You fight for loved ones and fail them?

I will not fail. And that is why I deserve my happiness. When she died, did I give up? I searched the world for a way to bring her back! I sacrificed my eye, my very soul.

Sank to such depths of depravity...

I tell myself she'll be pleased, but she won't be pleased to know what I've done. She'll reject me. And I'll kill myself.

But I'll die knowing she's alive.

No! We'll be together forever! I'll use the power of the items to make her immortal and build her palaces and everything will be perfect!

I'll lay the souls I broke for her at her feet as offerings and her portrait will hang in every museum and people will see what a goddess she is.

And I'll finally be happy.

It'll all be worth it.

You see that, don't you, Kaiba, Mokuba, Yugi, Solomon...

She's the most important thing in the universe. I have to have her back.

I will have her back.

Ah, good. You agree.

She's mine. She's mine and not death itself can keep me from her. I'd deal with the devil himself for her. Become the devil.

I will have her back. Even if I have to kill every last one of you. Shred your souls into raw materials for the spells to bring her back. No hard feelings. You're nothing compared to her.

Nothing.

No one will miss you, no one will care... no one's noticed the disappearances of the others.

What do you have to live for? Dedicating your lives to a little card game...

Yugi, your only family is your grandfather: don't worry, you'll soon be joining him.

Joey: your mother and sister abandoned you to a drunkard. Don't tell me you'll miss them.

You should be grateful. Your deaths will serve a higher purpose. There is a meaning to your lives.

Cecelia will put flowers on your graves.

VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV

Subieko: I don't like that a lot of people consider Kisara a Mary-Sue. She's like Tea, she gets bashed and doesn't deserve it.

Sylvia Viridian: Oh, I know _all _about that. And thanks for your assessments.l

Chibi Pharaoh Yami: Sorry!

Silvershadowfire: Thanks!

Pharaoh Atemu's Angel: Well, she is a major player in this duel, and I said I'd do all the spectators.

Shining Charizard: Love you! I love Yami, and saying I do him well... wanting to explore his character is the whole reason I started doing fanfiction. Thanks!


	24. Safety

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, Yami would never have left Yugi!!!!!

Um... sorry about so long not updating. A. no computer, and I don't want to write yaoi in a computer lab with people reading over my shoulder, and B. the computers here do random stuff like replace letters with Chinese characters.

If you want Y/YY from me, go to UsagiLovesDuochan's profile (she writes cool Y/Y too) and click on the link to the yahoo group pharaoh's hikari. It's a group dedicated to Y/Y with a ton of cool stuff including Doujinshi scanlations. There's also exclusive art and stories by Lizeth there (of History of Magic fame!). My fic, Powers of the Storm, will only be posted there. Join! It's really cool!

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You've finally calmed, little light. You were tossing and turning and mumbling to yourself about how you needed to get some rest for the duels tomorrow, but you were too worried...

When I drew you into sleep, did you not resist because you appreciated the help, or because you were too tired to realize I was aiding you?

I sit here and watch your face.

I won't.

I won't lose you. I won't let us become Pegasus's possessions.

I won't fail you again.

There's a twig in your hair. It's been there since last night, when you slept on the ground.

No one's looking especially good. Except Mai.

Enough food for all of us (all of us who eat, anyway), a solar shower... a very smart lady.

I also owe her for making it so that you didn't go to bed hungry last night.

I hope I get to give her that honorable duel she wanted. I hope you help me.

I hope you let me help you.

That's all I've wanted for as long as I can remember.

With the spell I used, you should be up early enough to get a shower and clean up. Maybe you'll thank me for being so well rested?

I'll use a spell to clean your clothing.

What's that noise?

You... you're crying. Whimpering.

I didn't want to invade your privacy, but **this will not be!**

No.

No.

Stop seeing this, little one! This shall not become truth, this false vision. I won't let it.

Your grandfather will soon be free, as well as the Kaibas. You and your friends will remain free. I promise it.

I cover your dream self's eyes and the scene vanishes. I leave before you can see me. I don't want you any more angry with me than you already are.

It's only a temporary respite, however. The things Pegasus has done... they haunt your gentle soul. His cruelty is incomprehensible to you.

It speaks of your purity, that you have not grasped the concept of sadism after having been the target of so much casual cruelty.

You will dream again, in an attempt to understand.

I've talked to you before, to distract you in your dreams. And, like most other dreams, you've forgotten it when you've woken up.

But you wouldn't want to talk to me.

There is nothing I can say to you that will not make you feel worse. I will not tell you the truth, that I meant no harm to Kaiba. And you would not wish to let an attempted murderer calm your fears.

Oh, little one...

You're lonely. During the day your friends are there, but during the nights the one who has calmed your fears, your only family, is your grandfather. And you fear you will never see him again.

I'll make sure you see him again. Even if only once.

Hmmm. Pegasus is distracted. Oh well, I'm not complaining.

I can't break them free from a Millennium Item's hold, but I can open a window. The Kaiba's too. Letting them see out of their prisons, letting them see each other... it's the least I can do for them.

I won't spy on them. Let them say to each other and to Yugi what they wish.

Time passes, it's impossible to tell here. And then Yugi wakes up, and my spell connecting them to him ends.

And I feel a rush of blackest despair.

Solomon is fine, he trusts in his grandson. But the Kaibas... they have no one in their lives they feel they can trust but each other. And now they are being pulled apart.

I can't.

I can't stay here, I need to go, Yugi needs me...

But I can't leave you two in your private hells. And... Yugi doesn't need me right now.

He doesn't want me, ever.

He'd probably be happy to have some alone time in his head.

So I stay. And keep a window open between the brothers. So they can at least speak to each other.

Yugi doesn't want to speak to me.

Why is my magic being tugged on? Oh, Kaiba. He has quite a bit of power, but most of it is being drained by Pegasus now.

Why would he tug?

I enter his prison and find him pressed up against the window, Mokuba on the other side.

His eyes...

I will _never_ let Yugi look like that. If Pegasus tries to do this to him, I will kill him.

Without a second thought.

Mokuba's crying. Tears of relief.

And there are tear streaks on Kaiba's face as well, but he's not crying now.

He's looking at me and begging with his eyes. He's moving his lips, but he's forgotten how to speak. If he loses touch with Mokuba here again, he will break. And he knows it.

I can't...

Yugi needs me. I can't stay here forever, and I have to stay in this realm to maintain the spell.

But Kaiba could maintain it.

But with Pegasus already draining as much as he can from him, one more drain would rob him of thought as long as it lasts.

But is that such a bad thing, while he is imprisoned.

Kaiba sees that I have found a solution. He wants it.

I steal his energies and cast the spell. He slumps against the window, a smile on his lips. Still aware of his brother's presence.

Mokuba sees and panics. His lips frame Seto's name, and he bangs against the window, but he cannot reach his brother.

I pass into his prison and hold him, reassure him. Your brother's just sleeping, see? He's safe.

And Mokuba wiggles out of my arms and presses himself up against the window. His eyes drink in the sight of his Nii-sama.

Even in the shadow realm, it is possible to be happy if the one you care for is safe.

Yugi is ready to go duel. He... he calls for me!

And I answer his call and pull him into my arms for a second. He's stiff, but... he didn't push me away!

Does this mean...

VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV

Ash: Here you go!

Shining Charizard: Read the manga version of the end of the Peg. Vs Yugi duel. They have scanlations at 

Subieko: Given that my theory is that he was deliberately driven nuts by the Seven Sadistic Shiny Thingies, I feel for him.

MotherCHOWGoddess: I actually was fine the next day.

Sylvia Viridian: Like I said, I really feel sorry for him. And thanks!

Amber Eyes23: Sorry to keep you waiting!

SilverShadowFire: Exactly!

Pharaoh Atemu's Angel: Probably because she's a pretty girl one of the bishies is interested it. Can we say jealousy, anyone? Ditto Tea.


	25. Helpfullness

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, Yugi would be shown winning more than one major duel. The others he forfeits or they just end.

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Goddamn it.

I can't sleep.

Everything is just going round and round in my head...

What am I going to do? Duel, obviously, but...

I was so determined not to duel. But then I decided to take the risk. To trust myself, that I could hold the spirit back.

But one moment of inattention, after... what Pegasus did, and he took over again.

He didn't hurt anyone, even though he was pissed as hell at Pegasus.

Man oh man. I'd better quit it with the language fast, or I'm going to say some of this stuff in front of Grandpa and then I'm in for it.

He washed _Joey's_ mouth out with soap.

And before I know, it's morning and I'm dueling and it's hard, so hard, holding the spirit back and I beat Joey and Mai and I duel Pegasus and I lose and I'm trapped forever and so are Grandpa and Kaiba and Mokuba and Tea and Joey and Tristan and Ryou...

And as I'm alone in the cold, cold dark I feel arms wrapped around me and it's the spirit? But he's helping Pegasus steal people's souls and taking over the world...

And hands cover my eyes and ... everything's gone...

It was just a dream.

I want to thank him, but I turn around and he's gone. Why... where...?

It's a room filled with toys and games. Everything is so familiar, but I know I've never been here before... no, I have.

And... there's a voice, calling me.

Grandpa?!!!

I spring out of bed and run through the halls of the castle, following...

Grandpa. You're in a card, on a cross... Kaiba and Mokuba are here...

Kaiba's pleading?!

Wait. Pegasus is stealing souls to get stronger? Something, some connection is hovering on the edge of my mind, but before I can grasp it, it's gone.

I'm so angry. They're suffering, and Pegasus is being _helped_ by this?! He _wants_ this!?

I pour out my doubts, my fears, how I don't think I can beat him. I've missed telling Grandpa things.

Although I really shouldn't be happy about telling him I'm probably not going to be able to rescue him.

Trust the power of the Millennium Puzzle?!

Gee, thanks.

I don't know how to use it's power at all, and from what I've seen what the Millennium Items mostly are good for is doing nasty stuff to people's souls. Like stuffing them in cards. Or possessing them.

Does he mean trust the Spirit?! Wait... does he know about the spirit? And he hasn't told me?

...wait...

How come...

Where exactly am I? Even at night, it's not like this outside the castle. Am I still dreaming? I don't think so, but why am I so sure this is real?

I can feel stuff, but it's not like normal. Is this the Shadow Realm that Pegasus and the thing that possessed Ryou took us to?

Well, Grandpa is in a card, but so are the monsters, and they're from the Shadow Realm... so, this _could_ really be Grandpa. For some reason I'm sure it is.

But why would he tell me to trust the Puzzle?

Anyway, Grandpa, I promise I will get you out of here!

And I feel myself wake up. I must have got too excited.

I don't feel the spirit. And it's really early, and I'm wide awake. I should be dead tired. The last time I looked at the clock it was 4 am, and it's 6 now. Did... did he do something?

I strip to shower, since I have time, and I smell my clothes to debate whether or not to use the soap to wash them. The duels start at eight, if I hang the shirt up it at least should dry. It smells... clean. Like it's just come out of the wash at home. I can smell the kind of detergent we use.

He must have... cleaned them. With magic. Why would he do that? To try to get in my good books?

Was he behind that dream I had? He must have done something to help me sleep. I should be dead tired. When I'm stressed, I just can't sleep.

Was that really Grandpa? If it was, did the spirit threaten him or something to make him saw to trust the Puzzle?

He said trust the Puzzle, not trust the spirit? Was that because he didn't know about the spirit, or to say not to trust the spirit without being caught?

I rest my head against the shower walls as I stand under the pouring spray and think. Why would the spirit let me sleep, clean my clothes, show me my Grandpa?

Was it so the body would be in good condition to take over? He just didn't want to be tired and smelly?

He showed me Grandpa during the duel with Kaiba. Was this another attempt to make me see how important winning is? To convince me to let him take over?

But why would he show me Kaiba? Kaiba's presence made me think of what he did, or would have done if I hadn't stopped him, to Kaiba.

But... wouldn't he want me to be sleepy? I'm pretty sure the condition my body is in doesn't seem to affect him. By the end of yesterday and the day before, I was barely standing, but when he took over, he was fine.

And wouldn't me being too tired to think straight be a good thing for him? If I was in no condition to duel, I would be more likely to hand over control. Or, it would be easier for him to take it if I couldn't concentrate.

I don't know what to think. Was he just being nice?

I want it to be that.

Everyone's here now. It's time. And like I have so many times before when I'm about to duel, I reach out to him instinctively. And he comes from wherever he is.

And he hugs me. Just for a second, but I feel happiness that he is wanted, but also a deep sadness. Is he sorry for what he's done? Was what he did last night a way of saying sorry?

When I don't push him away, mostly because I'm too stunned, he gets even happier. Then he returns his attention to what is going on around him.

I let myself be a passenger for now. I think... I think I will let him duel. I have to know if I can trust him.

But I'm not going to let him do whatever he wants.

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Review responses:

Moonymonster: Thanks for the great review!

Master Elora Dannan: You poor, poor thing. I hope this has been helpful.

Sylvia Viridian: That's exactly my story.

Subieko: That moment already happened. Now, they're both trying to get back together, but they're being too cautious.

MotherCHOWGoddess: I hope you like it there!

Silvershadowfire: Actually, that had nothing to do with it.

Pharaoh Atemu's Angel: Both soon, I promise!

Amber Eyes23: Already have, and will again soon.


	26. Knowledge

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, Solomon would have gotten to thank Yami for rescuing him in the tomb.

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How long have I known?

That's actually kind of a silly question. Known what?

It's not really know, I don't know what's going on, besides what I think I remember, which could be a hallucination brought on by blood loss or Alzheimer's early work.

I just... feel. Know in my bones.

When I saw my little grandson for the first time, when they let me in the life support room after he was born prematurely, he was...

I can't say he was cute, even to my prejudiced eyes. He was red and wrinkled and too, too small. But he wasn't crying.

They didn't think he was going to live. But I knew he was. I knew he was too strong to die. I knew him. I knew those purple eyes, so like my own. I knew that serious, curious stare. I knew him.

I convinced my daughter to name him Yugi. She joked about how she hoped I wouldn't pressure him into being my protégée, but I knew he would be. I knew he would be a great gamer.

I was right. Rubix cubes, chess, go... he picked each up in days. Aside from when he was first learning each game, I could never beat him.

Me, the Legendary Gambler who had defeated the greatest game of all, the tomb of the Unknown Pharaoh! A six, seven, eight-year-old defeating me!

All I felt was pride... and deja vu.

And when he was six, Pegasus created the game of duel monsters. We learned it together. It was enthralling.

I knew these cards, these strategies... and Yugi knew them too. The Heart of the Cards... he invented that term, though the credits me with it. That heart beat for him.

And then he found it.

It was buried in my storeroom, on a shelf he couldn't have been able to reach, behind mountains of carefully positioned junk. He should have been able to find it.

I had known he would find it. I had known it was meant for him. But I hadn't wanted... no, had refused to give it to him.

I had done my research, after finding. Had heard tales of a mystical puzzle, which would make the one who solved it King of Games. Had joined more conventional Egyptian digs and heard the theories of Arthur Hopkins.

But I had never tried to solve it. I knew it wasn't for me. But one of my apprentices did. And it punished him for daring to touch it.

I knew magic existed, that there was more to winning then luck and strategy. I knew of curses.

I didn't want my Grandson crippled or worse.

But then I saw him with that glimmering box in his arms, innocently holding a piece out to me, asking if it was a puzzle with that excitement in his eyes, and I felt...

I knew. I saw.

The puzzle belonged to him, with him. That light in his eyes... he was more my grandson, more alive, then I had ever seen him before.

I couldn't rip him in two. So I told him a scary story, but it only entranced him more. He asked for the puzzle for his Eighth birthday, and I couldn't say no.

Eight years. Eight years he worked on that thing. He never was angry at it, or frustrated. He knew he would solve it eventually. I knew he would solve it eventually.

And he did. And he got everything he ever wanted overnight. He got his wish, whatever it was, I know this.

Before... the one thing that puzzled me was that he was so alone. He should have been surrounded by admirers of his genius. Should have been a natural leader. The one person to see the true him, to get past his self-deflating exterior was Tea. Now... the last piece brought a new friend to my door.

And others joined Joey. Tristan, Ryou...

And my Grandson had people to play with. True, Tea had taken up Duel Monsters before so he would have someone to play against besides me, but she didn't have the spark, the mind that saw the strategies, the... magic.

And my Grandson himself... the bullies evaporated, his confidence expanded. He had always been happy despite everything, but now... there was nothing to be sad about.

He came alive. What I had seen when he gained the puzzle was nothing compared to when he wore it around his neck. It was a part of him that had been missing, and was now restored.

That's what shocked me.

When whatever force allowed me to see out of the card Pegasus had me trapped in, into this dream world in which I knew Yugi was there and called to him, that's what shocked me amid all the magic and madness.

He wasn't wearing the puzzle.

It was like someone had cut him in half. It was wrong. Just... wrong.

I told him what Pegasus had told me, to taunt me with. I heard the Kaibas plead. How had they gotten here?

I told him to trust the puzzle. He needed it. It needed him. How I know...

I just know.

Yugi needs the puzzle. In a way, it seems like... Yugi is the puzzle. Without it, he's just a shadow of himself. True, before he had it, he was a smart, kind, funny boy. But... he's a shadow. Unnoticeable.

With it, he is who he should be. A genius whose inner radiance enchants everyone.

As I felt myself be sealed in my prison once again, I was not afraid. I knew my Grandson would save me, save all those Pegasus had captured.

Because... he was my Grandson. And so much more.

I can't explain it. I just know it.

He has a destiny. He will be great. There is nothing he cannot do.

But he needs the puzzle. It is deadly. I saw what it did to the one who tried to solve it without being worthy. But it will not harm him.

It would never harm him.

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A/N: Actually, the manga is out in English. It's published by Shonen Jump. You can get it at most bookstores.

Yes... I watched my copy of those episodes in the sub recently, so I used the crosses. I try to stick to the dub mostly in this, but...

Hi, Moonymonster!


	27. Violation

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, Kaiba would have been trouble to Pegsy to keep.

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It was bad at first. I thought it was the worst that could exist, being trapped in freezing darkness all alone and knowing Mokuba was trapped too.

Then, after what felt like an eternity, Pegasus came out of the darkness. I tried to reach him, tried to fight him, was maddened... I couldn't move.

Gozaburo trained me to not show pain. But I screamed. I couldn't see anything happening, but, it felt like a vampire.

He forced his way into the very center of my being, not just my surface thoughts. I... could sort of feel him doing that during the duel, during my defeat.

My mind's self, my inner self, my soul... chained down and couldn't escape and cutting my wrists and my blood my strength my power going drip drip drip down into his waiting hands and I screamed.

And screamed.

Is this what rape feels like to the victim? Violation not of the body, but this is much worse.

My soul stolen, my mind violated, my very essence the property of my tormenter.

I can't even fight. If I move, more blood flows down down down and I become too weak...

And his taunting visage is before me, laughing and laughing at my futile rage and my eyes dim and he leaves, but the wounds are still open, not enough to send my unconscious, oh no, he wants me to suffer.

And every so often, as my soul lies huddled in the darkness, lost and alonealonealone I hear that mocking laughter.

And my rage keeps me from sliding to shock. Like with Gozaburo, it's the only thing keeping me together.

Forget sane. I know what I was during Death-T.

Hiring assassins for god's sake. I was psycho.

Yugi should have done a lot more than... drug me? Or were the monsters he showed me before, the breaking of my mind I felt, true?

Magic exists. It's in the blood of my mind, my soul: Pegasus wants it.

My company was just a sideshow, an excuse.

Mokuba was just a pawn. He is suffering because Pegasus wanted me.

And if Pegasus wants me, he must want Yugi even more. Yugi can actually do magic. I didn't even know I had it. That spirit Yugi was talking about, after he surrendered... he does it.

Millennium Eye, golden puzzle... Pegasus wants more and more power. And he laughs in my mind and says he'll get it.

And I scream in rage and pain and sorrow as he_ pulls_ through me to summon MY Blue-Eyes to destroy an opponent and gain his soul as well.

Not Yugi. I still have a chance.

Innocent little Yugi's the only one who would fight for me, for Mokuba. Despite everything we've done to him.

And Pegasus leaves and time passes, I don't know how much, and I feel another power.

Yugi?

And there's light, there's light to see, even if there's only a little, and I look and can't see the chains I can feel, and there's none of the blood that still pours out of me, into HIS hands.

And I see Yugi, and I scream and plead until I notice... Mokuba!

And his eyes look at me and he's not hurting like I am! He's worried about ME, the one who failed him yet again and I don't notice the pain anymore, it's just background.

My little brother is... not fine. But he hasn't drowned in madness as I can feel I am, he can move to push against the window that the power that is-and-isn't-Yugi-because-Yugi-is-here-and-confused had opened on his prison and I can see him and he's safe...

And little Yugi and his gramps are talking, the worthless old one who kept her from me! Hate!

But I don't care because Mokuba's here and he starts crying and I panic and try to act fine but he knows, he knows I hurt, he always knew, I lied to myself that he was innocent, that I protected him from knowing what I went through, and I've failed so many times...

I'm worthless. I deserve to be alone in the dark and break and why didn't Yugi leave me like I was, why didn't someone kill me for being evil like I am and caused Gozaburo's death when he was such a great man and chess champion and I heard Mokuba say that he thought, even Mokuba thought, that I cheated to beat him to make him adopt us and I didn't I didn't I didn't!

I won against Gozaburo but I lost to him more and no one believes I beat him fair even once!

And Oh God NO! NONONONONONOOOooooooo! MOKUBA!

I can't see him anymore and it's all dark again and stop it! Stop going away!

Thank God. He's staying.

And I can still see Mokuba, and he's scared, he was scared when I went away and he's so sorry and I want to reassure him and I'm so sorry but my lips move and I can't speak.

I'm deaf and dumb and trapped and help!

Stay! Not-Yugi, stay. Stay here because I can't leave my brother alone!

And now I can see him, like when we duel, but he's sad and he can't help and I plead and then he comes up with something and I want him to do whatever it is, I can't stay here alone, can't leave Mokuba alone...

And I feel a needle slip in my arm, but then it stops hurting, not like my wrists which still bleed and the power flows to the window and I start to go unconscious from blood loss but it's fine, it's fine.

I could be attacked more while I'm not aware but I don't have to suffer here, I don't have to know and Mokuba will know I'm with him, can't protect him but let him think I can like I've always tried to get him to think, let him relax and feel safe like I never can.

Pegasus.

Gozaburo.

Not-Yugi, who has left.

So many people I can't fight, who have gone after you because of me, so many who can hurt and break me.

But I can rest...

And one of the wounds on my wrists closes and I can hear Pegasus's mocking laughter in my ears.

And I'm awake. In a nightmare.

VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV

Yes, Solomon rocks.

And you might want to read the earlier ch. for what is going on from Yami's view.


	28. Protection

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, Mokuba would get to kick ass!

Why I despise people who claim writer's block as an excuse for not updating: I always have writer's block. Deal. Just do it.

And this is dedicated to moonymonster, Rockman fandom Reviewer Nazi and my hallmate. And #1 Mokuba fan.

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I'm not afraid.

Pegasus trapped me here in the dark, but I'm not afraid.

Nii-sama came. My big brother came for me. He... I lost him to Gozaburo. I tried to be strong, win his respect at Death-T, and he Penalty Gamed me.

But then the other Yugi gave him the opportunity to repair himself.

And he has. He came. He came to rescue me.

I was trying to help him, look after the company while he was gone. I kept the keycard safe, I tried to duel Yugi even though the previous times I challenged him turned out horribly, I knew the fake wasn't him.

I escaped. Too bad I got recaptured.

I don't blame the other Yugi, I don't. He destroyed the fake who tried to tell me my brother was dead, didn't care about me. It's not his fault he didn't hear the millisecond I managed to scream as the chloroform drugged me.

I waited. I remembered, locked in that dungeon. And my brother came, as he had before.

I was so happy! Even though I got locked in here a second later, my old brother was finally back!

Of course, it was sad being separated from him right away, and it's a little... who am I kidding, very scary here, and I was a crybaby at first, but...

I've got my brother back. Everything's going to be okay. He'll rescue me, I know he will.

I'll just keep telling myself that. It makes it not so bad to be here.

Wha... what is this window?

Yugi? Why are here? But could you help me out? I know you have helped me and my brother out a lot, and we've just been mean to you, but you promised! You promised you'd defeat Pegasus with me!

No, that was the other you. This is the you that had no idea what to do when my cronies grabbed you and I challenged you to Capsule Monster Chess.

Are you two sorta like Seto and me?

And I look around while you talk to your Grandpa, it was bad what Nii-sama did to him at Death-T, and...

Oh no.

NII-SAMA!

He looks so... dead. Hurting.

And he sees me and smiles, he's happy I'm here but he's trying to pretend he's okay, but he's not okay. Something's hurting him really bad. REALLY bad.

I try to get through the window, get to him, he's helped me so many times, he needs my help now, but I can't get to him!

Just like I couldn't get through to him during the preparations for Death-T, all I could do was play along, try to defeat Yugi so he didn't have to really do it, try to win back my brother. Or at least his respect.

And he's hurting, like what that bastard Gozaburo did to him, and I start crying. I should, I should pretend that everything's all right because now he's feeling worse that I'm sad, but I can't, I can't pretend anymore!

But I'm also crying because I'm happy to see him, he was right there when Pegasus did this to me, and it's been too long, I was wondering if he...

Don't think about things.

And all of a sudden the force holding us here seems to leave, and we both scream.

And it returns, and my brother's fine, and I just can't stop crying.

He's hurting. He's really hurting. Pegasus is doing something to him. He's hurting because he wanted to help me.

Just like Gozaburo hurt him, because Nii-sama challenged him to get me a home.

And I see his face and he's blaming himself for me being here, and I laugh and laugh until I recover and am just crying, not so hysterical I can't breathe. Not that there is air to breathe... wherever we are.

And my brother's got that expression he gets when he wants something, whatever the cost, and the other Yugi appears.

He's sad. He's sad for Nii-sama.

But he makes Nii-sama collapse. And Nii-sama looks happy, but I don't notice, I try to break through the window to get to him but I can't, I can't reach him, and I feel arms encircle me but it's not Nii-sama.

It's the other Yugi and he says Nii-sama is all right and I know I can trust him, and Nii-sama looks happy so I go back to the window and try to be there so Nii-sama will know I'm fine.

And the other Yugi leaves, and everything is fine for a bit. Nii-sama is still here. He knows I'm here, I know it. And he's sleeping peacefully without nightmares like he hasn't since forever.

But then I hear a laugh.

Pegasus.

And Nii-sama wakes up. And he looks so lost, so afraid and guilty and weak and and...

And I yell at Pegasus and he laughs until I see my brother gesturing at me to be quiet. He's afraid for me. Afraid Pegasus will do to me whatever he's doing to him.

But I want to share your pain! You always take on the burden yourself, reject me when I try to help. I know you want to protect me, but it hurts me that you just see me as someone to protect, as a burden.

But that's what you need me to be.

You don't know anymore, what it's like to be a normal person. All your life, since I was born anyways, you've lived for me. Except when you were mad.

And now I can see in your eyes that you've gone back to the way you were before. Or are trying to. I am the proof you didn't fail.

I'm the only one who can show you your sacrifices weren't in vain. I'm the one who's not supposed to know hate or fear.

But I hate and fear for you. You failed, in that.

You can't protect me from everything, Nii-sama. But I'm going to protect you from knowing that. I always have.

And so I wipe away my tears, and smile, and show you how happy I am that you're here.

When I wish you were far away from here.

Safe.

VAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAVAV

Um... sweatdrop. This series was originally supposed to be subtle Y/Y... but all the YGO characters are so cool... look on my bio for future chapters.

I write so much _to_ have it turn out good. But thanks for saying it is.


	29. Forgetfulness

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, they wouldn't have kept Pegasus alive in the anime. I mean, it is good that he gets to sort of redeem himself by being helpful, but… he should have been able to join Cynthia.

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Another night, another few souls… this Malik is a fool, continuing to send his minions against me.

The fake cards he makes are a direct challenge. And I want the Items he holds.

Yet he uses his power to escape my traps and create his own. He's not as kind as little Yugi-boy and the Pharaoh. He's appropriately ruthless.

Really, Yugi-boy only got the Puzzle due to luck. He certainly doesn't deserve its powers.

Spending eight years solving a trinket?

I've spent eighteen fighting for my love.

I, too, shall succeed. But I will keep my prize for longer than a few months.

My followers surround Malik's envoy. I think I'll show off tonight. Surely Malik has no Ally that can rival the power of the Blue-Eyes.

The power that flows into me from Kaiba-boy. Around the edges of his mind are flickers of his past. A man of power, a commander, a ruler then as now.

Helpless before me. In torment. But he deserves it, doesn't he?

Hiring assassins to kill Yugi-boy? Why, that would have denied me the Puzzle! Naughty, naughty Kaiba-boy!

I think I'll hurt you more now.

And another one bites the dust. And what have we here?

Bakura Ryou and some of Yugi's little friends. Spying, hmmm?

Terrified, hmmm?

I think I'll take the ring now.

What the… what is this dark presence? No, no, you're kidding, there's nothing that can fight me, nothing that can stop me from winnin…

VAVAVAVAVAV

And another one bites the dust. Really, Malik needs to invest in a better grade of minion.

And my little cultists chant, and someone tries to slip my web of spells.

The Pharaoh? Or Yami, as he has named himself.

So, so sweet. Trying to let Yugi-boy see his beloved Grandfather one last time. Before he joins him in lonely darkness.

He's rejected you, and yet you still… He doesn't deserve you.

And you don't listen, you don't try to convince him he needs you, as he does to get through the finals, forget beating me…

Forget it.

Ha ha!

You just sit there. You should be in despair, yet you're strangely… content. You're happy. I can't believe it.

You're just happy to do little things for him. Happy to sit on the sidelines, never to truly live except when he needs you. Happy to be used by him.

Yet I expect you'll try to fight being used by me.

And I know it won't work.

And he wondered for a second if he was seeing an illusion of his grandfather, but he dismissed the idea.

He trusts you, deep down. Yet you betray him by your loyalty.

You know I set the whole Kaiba thing up. You know you didn't need to kill him, could have kept him from going off the cliff with magic. You know Yugi-boy stopped you only because he didn't know what you were planning.

And yet, you obeyed his order to stop, even though you knew the results would not be what he wished. You refuse to tell him your innocence, to spare him the pain of knowing how he was caught in my web, condemned Kaiba-boy to the torment he experiences now.

How he betrayed you.

And now he has awoken, and you remain behind though you wish to accompany him in all things.

But you feel he doesn't want you.

Fool.

Just tell him the truth, just 'apologize', just follow him as you ache to do, and he would accept you again.

He hates the gulf between you. He is afraid to approach you. You are afraid to approach him!

Idiots!

When the one you love suffers, you don't sit there and do nothing! You do whatever it takes to get them back!

I'm doing whatever it takes to get Cynthia back, don't you see!? Fools.

You don't deserve what you have. You deserve to be apart like this, you deserve to suffer even more for your stupidity. We didn't deserve to have what we had taken away from us. We deserve our love, our lives back.

And we're all going to get what we deserve. Isn't it grand?

And now you're trying to stop justice, Pharaoh. Kaiba-boy deserves the torment he's going through. To be separated from the one he lives for, as I am separated from Cynthia… though his caring is nothing like our true love…

His power is mine now. He is mine. And I want him to suffer, to regret, to scream… not to rest peacefully, waiting to be rescued, knowing his brother is safe.

As I hope Cynthia is resting…

I'm fine, dear. Just fine. And soon we'll be together again, just the two of us, and we'll be rich and I built you the castle you always wanted everything will be perfect again and I'll be able to paint you…

The monsters don't compare.

I've got your portrait everywhere, you know that? So I don't have to go a minute without seeing you.

I can't live without seeing you. I can't live without you.

This isn't living. Tormenting these poor boys… what am I thinking… sometimes, I know it's wrong, but I don't care enough to stop it.

Sometimes I want to punish them, to punish everyone for being happy when I am not…

Sometimes I just want screaming.

Wakey, wakey Kaiba-boy! Ah, much better.

And even more than the pain of you soul at being drained, is your anger and anguish. You can't stop screaming. And your brother is watching. And listening. And crying.

Crying like I did…

Is that what tears taste like? It's strange that I keep forgetting. I tasted my own on my lips last night.

Every day, when I wake up my pillow is wet.

And you two… Yugi-boy! How dare you!

How dare you feel that gentle joy, that hope for a reconciliation! How dare holding Yugi-boy in your arms for an instant soothe your soul and heart like that, Pharaoh!

Forget it.

They'll be suffering soon enough.

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What book, Sylvia?

Yup, Mokuba rocks. Given that he's as tall as Yugi _now_, he might end up taller than Seto.


	30. Lesson

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, Mai would get that re-match!

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What the hell was up with you? You were so… it was like you were fighting with yourself.

You understood, even if that big goof Joey didn't at first. I was trying to help you.

Why the hell was I trying to help an opponent?

I wanted… I wanted to win this. To win that title, that prize money… the title. I wanted that title.

Everyone was so pissed off when Pegasus said about how to a true duelist, the title was the real prize.

That crack about how some have more riding on this tournament than others he made to you, Yugi…

When I was trying to get through to you, you said you were fighting for your Grandpa. You should have known, then. If this whole thing with souls and everything was true… you should have known you had to go all out, had to defeat whatever was inside you that was holding you back, keeping you from dueling all-out against me.

You said… you said you were giving the duel all you could, then. And yet… I wanted to believe you. The look on your face… like something was holding you back, like you were trying to give me the best duel you could besides it, but… it wasn't something you could fight. Like you were… waiting. Resigned. Arguing.

Like you wanted me to go on. Like you were unhappy about not being able to give it your best shot.

Oh gods. Did… did Pegasus… did he say you had to throw the duel or something? Is that why you played so poorly at the beginning? Are… are there going to be consequences for giving me the honorable duel we both wanted.

No, no. That wasn't it. You… you were fighting with yourself, I know it. You'd get the look of a true champion in your eye, about to go all out and have fun… then you'd rein yourself back, and you'd be unhappy with yourself… but know you had to go along with it.

At the end… when you solved that internal quarrel…. You smiled and said I was right, you were holding back. But you weren't any more. And I smiled.

Because you were smiling like you were going to kick my ass, like everything was settled, everything was perfect. And I was like, hello? Me two thousand, you three hundred.

I was already wondering what other tournaments you might show up at, so we could have a duel where you wouldn't be all distracted and I could see why you beat Kaiba that time.

I mean, you kicked Panik's ass and made it look easy, but… I wanted to have a challenging duel like that with you.

Something where we could have a real challenge. Which, like I told you, is the only reason I duel, aside from the island trips, clothes, cars, and prize money.

Not something where the only person you were fighting against was yourself instead of me.

But, you pulled together this amazing strategy, and managed to bluff me, which no one has ever done, and made it look so easy.

One turn.

One freaking turn.

Damnit!

Damnit, that was cool.

And you didn't rub it in, when I surrendered. Which you would have had an excuse to, after I did all that taunting to try to get a rise out of you.

You thanked me, for helping you. You acknowledged that if you hadn't pulled your act together, I would have kicked your ass.

You want to duel me again, like I want to duel you.

It'll be great.

I thought all you guys were losers. But… I've learned a lot, from you guys. Even that idiot Joey.

Punk.

Still… what was going on, in your head? You looked… schizo. Was it just that you were arguing with yourself… you seemed to know that your moves were bad as soon as you made them.

But if so, why did you still make them? It was like… someone was ordering you around, telling you what to do.

You looked especially unhappy when the Dark Magician was destroyed. Your favorite card… you didn't want to put him down like that. You knew I had something waiting.

But you did it anyway.

What…

You errors were the sort made by a thoughtless person, someone who wasn't thinking the several moves ahead this game requires. Yet… you saw them coming, my tricks and traps. Yet you continued to make the obvious, skill-less moves, even though you knew, you obviously knew, they were going to lose you the duel.

When I asked you if you had faced up to whatever had freaked you out in your duel with Kaiba it was like, like someone else was looking through your eyes. A child. And you closed your eyes then, and when they opened…

You were smiling, and you thanked me. And you kicked ass. Like it was nothing. Did you… with the Catapult Turtle, did you leave it wide open to give me a chance, a chance to still win, to repay me? To teach me a lesson, about not letting fear hold myself back, but to seize the initiative?

Or did you just not have anything to defend it with?

You didn't care, either way. You knew, you knew you would not lose. You were on the top of the world then, smiling happily to yourself.

Brilliant with the true duelist's focus, going to give me the game of my life. Later, you lost it, later some residue of doubt returned… but you pulled yourself together.

Luck, skill, everything was with you then. Your heart was in the game, for the first time since the duel started, and I saw your true skill.

And I'm glad. I don't care that I lost. You needed the victory more than I, and I won.

Like you said, you wouldn't have won if I hadn't helped you work through whatever was holding you back, crippling you. So, I helped you win, and so the victory was mine.

I gave you an honorable duel.

And damn, was it fun!

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If you want more Mai, read my story Costume Jewelry.

I love the Death's Gate Cycle. Don't like anything else by them, though.

Well… they didn't say the hooded guy fighting Pegsy was Malik's, but it makes sense Pegsy would have been after the Rod, since he needed all seven Items. So trying to get his hands on and duel Malik is rather obvious. Is reading between the lines.

And Malik had to be at least in the area, to pick Bandit Keith out of the sea. There to observe Pegsy challenging the Pharaoh would be obvious. And sending Rare Hunters to the tournament to swipe rare cards, like in Battle City.

It's cool that Pegsy has his own cult (all those guys in robes in the anime). I gotta do more with them.


	31. Crush

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-gi-oh. Nor Shonen Jump. If I owned them, Hikari of Death Note would have been given the name and a photo of Joey's dad.

Notice: I am being more awake currently, but it's spotty, and a major advantage has been that I have been able to plan and use my awake time to my advantage for fic-purposes. I fly out to my college (which only has 1/3 of the year before winter break) on Saturday, and after that a lot of my peak time will have to go towards schoolwork, like most of you. I'm not sure how that's going to affect things, but I'm going to try to get as much as possible done before I go/on the plane. Thank you.

YGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGO

I just can't think straight with Mai around. It just doesn't make any sense. Yeah, she is hot, but I used to run with the gangs, man. I've seen 'em hotter, or at least trying to be, and I've seen them much, much more likely to put out, even if I got out before getting involved in any of _that._

Which is a damn good thing, because with my luck I'd have caught something for sure. And that wouldn't be a thing to do to a woman I had actual feelings for.

Am I in love with her? Nah, I don't believe in that stuff. Not after seeing my parents all mushy and gooey and then she started screaming at him and he started beating on her.

But I definitely 'have the hots' for her, how could I not? I'm a red-blooded teenager, and she wears clothes like that, come on. And she makes me feel all crazy and dizzy an', …man, I almos' fell off the balcony back there. That's gotta be real impressive, good goin', ol' Joey. An' droolin' at her on the ship to get here made her think you were real mature, too.

Yeah right.

And why am I thinking about some nose-in-the-air woman I'll probably never see after this tournament when I should be cheerin' on my best bud, an' trying to think of more tricks to play on that Bandit Keith jerk?

Yeah. Bandit. And that stupid bandanna. What a poser. If he'd ever been in a gang, he damn straight wouldn't fight like that. You don't block punches with bare hands, that's practically askin' for a knife or a bit of glass to be hidin' in them. Not to mention while he was snickering at me and watching my hands, he was leaving himself wide open for a shot to his groin.

Any of my ol' gang could have taken him in like two seconds, doubled over on the ground screaming for his mommy with his wallet gone, and we were just kids, and I was the best there. An' now I'm losing to pansies like Kaiba, who knows tournament-class martial arts. Oh, yeah, real impressed here. That stuff's all about _not_ hurting your opponent, fun and games. In the real world, people get hurt.

…well, this is the real world too, where people don't get hurt that way. So, I'll just have to settle for kicking your asses in duels. An', 'Bandit,' I'm taking you down right after this. That's why I didn't even _bother _getting' angry at you when you were trying to pick a fight with me again. Then I'll give Yugi the best warm-up he's ever had, though you're doing a good job, Mai.

And you really weren't messin' with his head. Still, Yug' can't let you win, though. That Pegasus bastard was right, some of us do have more on the line here than others.

Man, the view's a lot better up here. Where's the jerk? Don't see him down there…

…and damn, she's good. Did I beat her by sheer dumb luck before?

…did I say that out loud?

…

Man, Mai.

When you're a bitch you're the Bitch Queen, and I mean that as a compliment, but that… besides my sis, and Yug', that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me and actually _meant_.

A duelist like you telling a punk like me I knew something you don't. That you learned a lesson from me instead of me just trying to copy a few of your strategies in later duels, learnin' from a Master, that I helped you take a good luck at yourself and see what was holding you back, makin' you rely on those cheap tricks like the perfumes…

That I, Joey Wheeler, helped you begin to trust yourself, see what you could really do, go from me beating you to you wiping the floor with Yugi, even if he's… not himself right now.

That you're holding me up as an example to Yugi, that he needs to face up to his fears of what he's become, what and who he is.

Me. Joey Wheeler. The dumb, immature punk who should have just stayed on the streets. Anyone'd tell you I'm too dumb to take a good look at anything.

Damn. I think I do love you. Helping my best bud out like this when you're after the prize money and the instant he wakes up he's probably going to wipe the floor with you…probably? Man, it's hard to believe I believe it, but you have a real chance of beating Yug' right now. Unlike everyone else he'd dueled so far.

Without using a cheap trick like that Kaiba-bastard. …no, I shouldn't even think of him that way right now. Not when he's suffering because of trying to help his little brother.

Need a new insult.

And you got Yug' ta listen to you. When me an' Tea, who's been his best friend since they were tykes, and the rest of us couldn't do anything.

…he still might lose, though.

Man, Mai… you're giving him a better warm-up than I thought I could, although I'll hafta try to dislike you again if you knock him outta the tournament.

The spirit's been out since this morning when we came by to pick you up, I'm getting able to tell better, but he's been acting like he's been on a leash this whole duel, distracted and just, well, held back. I thought just letting him out at all for the duel was a good sign, but now that he's really got goin'… I think Yug's got his head straightened out enough to take on the fruitcake now.

All thanks to you. We agreed, before we got here, that no matter who won, if either of us did my sis would get the money and Gramps would get his soul back no matter what. But I know damn well I don't have a prayer, Yug' doesn't have a prayer of getting' off this island with our souls intact without that spirit's help.

An' now he's letting him help again. And he's just summoned a kick-but monster, and I'm leaning forward again because I just gotta see what you'll pull out of that deck to take it down…

And your hand's on your deck.

You're surrendering, Mai?

And, well, part of me is sighing with relief that Yug's won, because I need that money and he needs Gramps and you don't need to duel Pegasus, I don't want to think about what he'd do to you if he's got Kaiba washing dishes, and part of me wants to kick my best bud's ass, because you look so sad, but Yugi, the spirit, both of 'em are good guys and you're fine now.

And I kinda wish I'd been the one to duel you, even though Yug' needed your help and Bandito over there wouldn't have been so nice, so smart, so…

I really want to duel you again. I really want to see you after this tournament, give you that re-match.

We owe you, Mai.


	32. Impression

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, this would be professional manga, not fan fiction.

I've decided Devotion will be 36 chapters, this is number 32. As you may be able to tell if you read a lot of my stuff, I'm trying to bring things to conclusions so people won't be kept in suspense again due to my condition. This means I will be doing more one-shots, until things stabilize and I decide what I'll be working on. DYDOM will continue for the foreseeable future, however. Thank you for reading this.

YGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGO

…I was right. Mai wasn't trying to use psychological warfare on Yugi. She was trying to help him.

It's amazing, listening to what Mai said to Joey after he almost fell off the balcony… sheesh, can't he ever control himself? She's really… grown up.

I'm impressed.

And it seems kind of silly for me, a girl in high school who's been acting like an idiot these last few months… getting a crush on the spirit of the puzzle, what was I thinking? Of course, he was… a dark and mysterious voice, who kept saving me… Okay, so I was justified in getting a silly schoolgirl crush, but man did I act like an idiot that time…

But normally, normally, I'm the mature one.

Class representative and the only one in our little group of friends to get good grades: Honda's just not book-smart, Joey's having to do too much catching up to get ahead in the rankings, and Yugi doesn't really care, I'm used to be the one to, well, bring people to their senses.

And I'm really doing a wonderful job of it this trip.

I can't get Yugi to trust the spirit, even if I did manage to get him to go into the castle, to at least be willing to try to duel again… it always used to frustrate me, Yugi giving up before he began at everything but games. Refusing to play sports, not bothering to study… He's just gotten so much better recently. Standing up to people like Kaiba… partly due to the spirit, but I think the spirits been… a catalyst.

I always knew you could do it, Yugi. It used to frustrate me so… and now you're losing. At a game.

You should never lose at games. They're the one thing you know you can win it, the one area in which you really do have confidence in yourself. Breaking that… when Kaiba gets his soul back, I'm going to strangle him. I should maybe have given in and throttled him on the battlements, after that dirty trick. Not enough to kill him, of course! Just enough so he'd fall unconscious with his face all blue. After all, if he was unconscious, he couldn't have dueled Pegasus and lost his soul.

But I'm the reasonable one.

I'm not used to failing. I'm used to planning and winning. My parents don't want me to become a dancer? Say it's aerobics classes, and practice in secret. Get a job to pay my own way to America instead of going to after-school study sessions I'm smart enough to not need.

Lose that job due to a convict, get another job. Lose that job due to Kaiba being a jerk… get another one. Get attacked, check to see if Yugi's okay when I wake up and find another place to practice.

And, if cheering my friend is all I can do, then I'll cheer. Cheer him up, give him hope. He's stood by me, he's seen how much I can do… it was wonderful to see him start to stand up to people, start to be brave, to try and succeed like I knew he could.

And I think the spirit feels the same way… I don't know, but… they're both good guys. Maybe he just wanted to scare Kaiba? I don't know… but they're both my friends.

And my friends are working together now, thanks to Mai. Mai used to kind of… tick me off, like Kaiba does Joey. Well, it makes sense. They have everything we want: money and independence (family as well, for Joey), and they're not only wasting what they have, they're mocking our efforts to get those things for ourselves.

Well, Mai _was_ mocking. Now… I'm impressed.

And I think Joey is too. He's got a good poker face, but he rarely remembers to use it. But we're both focused on Yugi, mostly.

And Yugi's focused. Because of what Mai said. And he might not win, but I think he will. Yugi always wins… barring cheating jerks, and Mai's not like that anymore. She let me win, I know it.

Yugi… he's got his new won confidence back, he's trusting the spirit again, they're helping each other again. We're all cheering him on. He'll win. It looks bleak, but then it always looks bleak, for all of us.

…and that's one impressive rabbit to pull out of you hat, Yugi. Black Luster Soldier? Cool…

…what's Mai doing. Surrendering? Oh, no… you should never surrender. Never give up. You're my friend too now, Mai (I wonder if you'd let me call you that…) and just like Yugi, you shouldn't give up. I mean, I want Yugi to win, he has to win, for Mr. Motou and Joey's sister and Mokuba, who is one sweet little kid even if he is an evil genius, and even Kaiba.

I think the reason that I'm not as interested in Duel Monsters as the rest of my friends, even though I tended to beat everyone at school except Yugi (and I doubt I would have stood a chance against Kaiba, if he'd ever played there), is just that I don't like people to lose.

But… doing it to protect your harpies is a good reason… you've really changed, Mai. I agree with what the spirit said earlier in the duel. And you're not the kind of person to give up, and I know you two will get to duel again someday.

Provided we all get off the island with our souls… but we will. Yugi's got his confidence back, and I know there's nothing my best friend can't do if he tries.

The tough part was always to get him to try… and Mai helped me guilt-trip him into dueling again: after all, if I went to all the trouble of dueling a professional I couldn't possibly beat to get you those chips, you couldn't just waste them, could you?

And Mai, your victory against your fears, you facing yourself, you challenging him to face up to himself, to the spirit and his own fears… you really helped him, Mai.

I'm really impressed. And grateful.


	33. Wait

Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, would this be hosted at No. I don't own it.

I've decided Devotion will be 36 chapters: this is number 33. My first fanfic project will soon come to a close, with 33 more chapters than the three I thought I would do when I started it. The feedback I got early on really helped shape this, and I think I've grown a lot as a writer by doing it. Once again, I would like to thank all my reviewers.

This is going to be one of my misc. chapters, where I do people I don't feel like giving a whole chapter too. In order, they will be Croquet, Bakura, Ryou, Tristan, Mahaado (Dark Magician), and Bandit Keith.

YGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGO

The tournament will now begin. Duelists, please…

I announce the beginning, and it's like I'm announcing the end. Master Pegasus won't let any of them off the island. Well, maybe Bandit Keith. It's not like anyone would believe the drunk, he's been insisting for years that Master Pegasus cheated, and no one's believed him, especially after he started to learn to cheat himself, probably in some vain attempt to fight back.

There isn't anything that can fight the eye. The rest of them? Kids, they wouldn't be listened to either, but he's probably not going to let them go. Young souls are stronger, ones with hope. That's probably the only reason I still have mine.

And Ms. Valentine looks far, far too much like Master Pegasus' dead wife. It's easy to recognize, as I'm surrounded by her portrait day in and day out. I don't want to know if Master Pegasus will need a host body for her, and I don't want to ask. Don't want to know.

It's not going to make any difference, like with the other kids there's nothing I can do. I'm a prisoner here myself. Haven't been off this island in… years, except when Master Pegasus goes somewhere, and of course he wants his right-hand man.

It's like something out of some fairy tale. He has books of them, as well as the Funny Bunny comics and TV-show DVDs.

Yeah, so I read a few.

Not like there's much else to do around here but slave.

In some of them, the sorcerers had it damn good in their enchanted castles before the knights came along. Servants at their beck and call… Master Pegasus is living those stories.

Some of those stories were graphic when it came to what happened to those who disobeyed, the heroes who couldn't cut it.

These kids think they're heroes, white knights. They're duelists, but they haven't got a chance of helping anyone, let alone themselves.

At least, that was what I thought until I saw Master Pegasus look shocked when Yugi Motou drew that card.

YGOYGOYGOYGOYGO

So the Pharaoh won out after all. Of course. That mortal fool had no chance against him.

I look forward to when we duel, Pharaoh.

YGOYGOYGOYGOYGO

Joey was rather hard to pull back up when he almost fell off, even with Tristan's help. That would have been a nasty fall.

It's wonderful we're all here to watch Yugi duel, even under the circumstances. He's a wonderful duelist, and I'm sure he will be able to save his grandfather.

His grandfather falling into that coma frightened me for a while. It reminded me of how all my friends at my other schools would fall into comas after playing Monster World with me. I used to wonder if I was carrying some sort of plague or something, even after all the tests were negative… then I used to think I was cursed, and try to avoid people.

But this wasn't me, this was Pegasus. They played Monster World with me, and nothing happened, and they've all been wonderful friends.

It must be terrible of me to think this after so much has happened, but I haven't felt his alive since my sister Amane died. But Yugi seems to be feeling better now too, that he's in the finals and has a better chance of winning him back.

So… why was I relieved when the duel ended by Mai surrendering? I was so relieved it… worried me.

YGOYGOYGOYGOYGO

Man, Joey! You gotta lose some weight. We've both gotten out of shape since we quit running with the gangs. You should've been able to take that big loser Keith apart in two seconds! I saw you fight. Hit his kneecaps and…

Oh, yeah. This isn't the streets. This is civilization. If you can call it that with all this weird magic.

Yugi's won this duel, and he'll beat whoever wins the other one, whether it's you or (sorry, bud) Bandit Keith. Looked close for a while there, though. Man oh man.

I'm looking forward to when we get off this island. I like a nice normal life, you know? Trying to get a date, look after my dog and my sister's kid, not pay attention in school, hang out with my best buds…

Good thing Yugi's dueling like his old… selves, again. I think we're a lot more likely to see normal life again now.

YGOYGOYGOYGOYGO

And thus I rush into battle when I should not and fail you yet again, My Pharaoh. Although to lose by a spell, even such a petty one, is better than to be fooled into attacking instead of defending you by my own foolish pride.

It was my duty to defend the tombs, the tomb of your dead father among them, and when that thief dragged his body before the court, when you had not even begun to recover from his death…

I wanted to hunt him down, to avenge my honor, not to avenge your father's dishonor. And so I fought alone instead of by your side, fought and fell instead of guarded your back.

And so I swore to guard your for eternity, giving up my life to do so. But that was not such a sacrifice, My Pharaoh, for by my foolishness I was already doomed.

But it was not enough. You still died. My death weakened you.

And in this battle, my death also weakened you, as I once again fought against your orders.

But you forgive me, and revive me to fight for you, stronger than before.

You are too kind, My Pharaoh, to forgive me. But perhaps it is that you understand what it is to need to be forgiven.

YGOYGOYGOYGOYGO

Interesting duel. Something seemed to be holding that Yugi kid back, just like with Kaiba. Something about fearing himself?

Kid's got a bit of a killer instinct, yeah. You need one to duel. But not enough of one. Wimp.

Damn impressive draw, though. Kid's got the same sort of edge Pegasus has… magic. Cheating bastards… not going to lose, though.

All else fails, got me a gun. He may be able to see cards, but can he see that? Probably no, otherwise he would have confiscated it by now.

Lying in the shadows here, I can match the trigger hairs to the hair on his head. Heh.

Later, though. I want to beat you if I can get a change. Not going to be fair and square, though. You're not going to play it that way, and if the rules are out the window, I'm going to take what I can get. Looks like that Yugi kid's come to the same decision. He had to use magic to get that card, there's no way. That draw was impossible.

But then… I used to pull off some 'impossible' draws.

Forget it. I've got cards up my sleeve for when I face him. That Joey punk still hasn't realized I swiped his card. So I'll just lie here, until I'm called…

Saying I was asleep did piss him off. Heh.

This is going to be damn good. Better be, I've waited so long…


	34. Acceptance

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh.

Here it is: dah dah dah dah… the chapter in which Yugi forgives Yami.

YGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGO

We were losing. Or I was losing, or he was losing… normally, we sort of… flowed together when we dueled, I felt different, stronger, but I was still laying down the cards, still declaring my moves even if my voice came out deeper.

Today…it was him dueling. I wasn't working with him, I was holding me… I was holding him back, like he accused me of doing, saying that if I kept doing it, everyone would lose, not just him… not just us…

What are we?

Friends, now… I think.

But then… I kept… doing something, that made it hard for him to control the body, made it hard for him to _think_. It felt like grabbing him, and tugging him, only not physically… I think I hurt him a little a couple times, pulled a little too hard and strained something, which was a little scary, to feel him be hurt. But he just took it instead of striking back at me. I was a little worried the first time, and I quit… hurting him each time I did it by accident, and didn't do whatever had hurt him again. I think he understands that, understood it.

I didn't mind him dueling so much… I wanted to keep him off balance, not in control enough to use his powers. I was so scared for Mai…

I knew concentration was the most important thing in a duel: even the heart of the cards can't hear you if you don't call, but… I didn't want us to lose. I didn't know what to do.

I knew he was a better duelist than me, so I wanted him to duel, but then I kept… jogging his elbow. I maybe should have dueled myself, but… well, maybe that would have gone better, maybe not. We won, and I should just be glad. I should just forget all the maybes and might-have-beens.

Mai was right. I should have faced up to my fears, found out about the spirit, understood him, talked to him, before. He's really not a bad person.

He asked my permission, before doing something. I nodded, and that was it. He didn't ask my permission before.

Well, to be fair, he always had my permission before, to draw a card, pull a move. It was our draw, our move.

Was that why he just went ahead and did it, on the battlements? Almost let Kaiba fall? He was so used to us sharing the same thoughts, same plan, that it didn't occur to him that my objections were more than token?

He explained a bit about his plan to me, this time. I think he would have said more, but I got the idea and there wasn't really time.

He has doubts.

He always seemed so sure before, so scarily certain. He has doubts. That makes him a lot more human, less scary.

I faced up to my fears, to the one who always came to my aid, always helped me believe that I would draw the card I needed… I took a good look at him and he looked to me for help.

And even when he was afraid he would lose, that he would fail me, he didn't seem to even consider for a second hurting Mai.

Because he learned it was wrong from me refusing to let Kaiba die? Because he doesn't have a grudge against Mai?

…because Mai, unlike Kaiba, wasn't risking it all, wasn't willing and ready to die?

I think he has honor, this other me, this spirit inside me. It's a… harsh honor. People who cross him, cross us, cross… me?

He thinks they deserve to, need to, pay for it. But he doesn't seem to hold grudges afterwards…

But even so… crime and punishment, judge jury and executioner. Which is why I don't really think he's a part of me anymore, some part I should try to overcome to be a better person, but a real other person, with their own feelings and values.

I always try to give people another chance, and another, and another. And sometimes I'm wrong and get hurt, but sometimes things turn out great. If I held grudges, I wouldn't have let Joey and Tristan be my friends, and they're great friends now. Coming to the tournament to support me, cheering me on…

Kaiba's done a lot of nasty things, but he's better now… quite possibly thanks to whatever the spirit's punishment was, and he was fighting for Mokuba. I couldn't condemn him for that.

The spirit has this… warrior code, I think. And Kaiba's the same way, ready to take the consequences.

But the spirit listens to me, respects me now. So… I think we make a great team. I think we'd make great friends.

The look in his eyes when I reminded him of our friends, that they were _our_ friends, which I think they are… Joey, Tristan and Tea all seemed to want us to make up, work together again.

I remember, right before we climbed to the castle and saw Kaiba, Tea telling me she thought both of us were great guys.

I think he is that. Great. Not so sure about me… but I have to say he is… heroic. But the heroes don't always look out for the people around them, chasing after the greater good or some goal and letting other things fall by the wayside.

Like Kaiba.

I'm not great, not a hero. But… he helps me, I realize that now. He protects me, and I want to help him too. He looks to me for help, reassurance, purpose. So… he'll be the hero who protects me, and I'll be his humanity. Human weakness.

He listens to me. He stepped aside. He let me cancel the attack on Kaiba.

I don't know who or what he is, really, but Tea was right. He is a good guy, a great one.

I wish I'd seen that before. I put both of us through all this, made Tea go to so much trouble to duel Mai, worried my friends… because I just didn't see.

I try to see the good in everyone, but I just didn't see how good he is. To me, to all of us. Even Mai.

I'm sorry, spirit.


	35. Gratitude

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh. Yu-gi-oh got finished way before this fic. GX and R do not count.

Yami pov.

YGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGO

He has forgiven me. He accepts me again. Thank… Thank you, Mai. I owe you even more.

You claimed you care naught for such a 'weak' thing as friendship, that all that matters is winning and the success each success brings, money and baubles. And yet you forfeit to Tea, forfeit to me.

If Yugi had continued to hold me back, I would have lost. And with that loss… Yugi would have lost, after I swore to defend and help him, his Grandfather would have lost, remaining trapped because my presence drew Pegasus' attention to Yugi's family, Kaiba and Mokuba would have stayed lost… and as for myself and Yugi's friends… I would not have dared to hope.

It was so _frustrating_. He went from working with me, working as me, as though we had been partners in truth for an eternity, barely aware I was here so alike we and our motives, our moves, and our strategies were. I myself, at the beginning, was barely aware we were two and not one.

But then… he thought I would have condemned Kaiba to fall to his death, instead of binding and saving him, because I overrode his objections, tossed them aside instead of explaining to him what I planned.

I kept thinking, afterwards… at first I thought I should not have let him take over, but this is his body. Not mine. And then… how could I explain without making him feel worse? Kaiba lost his soul because Yugi did not trust me. He would have blamed himself for a 'failure as a friend' when the failure was mine.

I should have talked to him, instead of only coming in to save the day. I should have explained to him what I was using his body to do. It was all my fault he did not know what I planned, did not know me well enough to trust me.

But If I had told him, he would have blamed himself, seen it as his failure instead of mine, and that would have caused his innocent spirit to suffer. And I care for him too much to let that happen. Better he think me a murderer than himself a hypocrite who does not trust his friends.

But I hated not being trusted. I wanted to tell him. But I simply had to… endure it.

It was so _frustrating_ that he felt he had to weaken me so that I would not harm others, when all I have done is to protect and deal out just punishments. It pained me that such a good soul saw me as evil.

He shut me out, save when distracted. I could still see what went on, but that he felt he needed to try…

But now it is over. We still must face Pegasus, but at least we will face him as we should be. Together.

It will be a difficult fight… but I know that together, we will win. I will not fail him. We will find a way.

So many times I have reassured him in duels, bolstered the fear of failure his modesty gives him. So many times before I came he lost unjustly… nevermore. I will protect him, I will fight for him, I will save him, I will stand by him.

I will never go against his wishes again. I swore it, and I will keep my word. Always.

It is such a relief, that we worked together again. That he saw me as a comforter instead of a threat. That he trusted me to win through when Mai's strength seemed too great to overcome.

And that when guilt overcame me, for the danger I had placed him and his family in, for my reckless gamble, for my pride… he stood by me. Reassured me. Told me they all cared for me.

Me! A lost spirit who does not even know his own name. My heart was made so glad the Heart of the Cards could not refuse us.

And so we drew and so we won. And now he smiles at me, and thanks me, when it was all his doing, all the doing of his kind soul that forgave me for my sins.

And your doing as well, Mai. You told him to look into his heart, face up to his fears. It shames me that when he looked at his fears he looked at me, who swore so long ago to guard him so he would never know fear again… yet it makes me happy beyond words that when he looked into his own heart he saw me, saw my devotion to him, saw what I had done for him, saw my promise and my honesty.

Yugi… what did I ever do to deserve you?

Mai, I owe you so, so much. You gave me back my partner, my Aibou, my light and my hope and my honor. You redeemed me in his eyes and gave me the chance to redeem Yugi's Grandfather and Kaiba and Mokuba from Pegasus.

Had you not tried to get through to Yugi, you would have won. I owe you an honorable duel, Mai. This one… was more honorable than any I have seen, even though it was unfair. You lost because of your honor. You surrendered, at such cost to your pride, to protect your Harpie Ladies.

For someone who claims to duel only for personal gain, Mai… you have faced up to your faults, but you do not seem to see your virtues. Yugi is the same.

Perhaps I am the same as well. I see my fault in not telling Yugi. But I have a chance to mend it, and that is what I should focus on.

We _shall_ be true partners. I swear it on this victory, I swear it on Yugi's forgiveness, I swear it on your honor, Mai.

Because he _is_ my partner, and without him I am doomed to fail. Without him I would still be trapped unknowing in the Puzzle, because of him I have awareness and self and a chance to find out who and what I am.

Because of him, I have a purpose. I have someone to protect.


	36. Ending

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh. Wish I did: don't.

And here it is. The very last chapter of my very first fanfic. I feel nostalgic already.

YGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGOYGO

So much fun!

And so close to the endgame. So close to another item, one that the legends say has powers over the others. So close to one giant step closer to reviving Cynthia!

I will win, of course, but _sooo_ much fun to rub it in!

After all, we all know that the real prizes are the souls of your friends, the money to help your worthless sister, vengeance against me, and last and certainly the least, self-respect and the money and fame to live your life your own way.

Well, you certainly won't be living that life much longer, little Ms. Valentine. Your soul will make a _wonderful_ addition to my collection! And your body a wonderful host for my dear, sweet, beloved Cynthia!

The tragically widowed, world-renowned and beloved creator of Duel Monsters finding 'new love' in a fabulously beautiful young female champion duelist! I can see the headlines now.

And of course you all rattle on at me, or glare at me, but you know it's inevitable.

Poor Pharaoh, can't even get your dear little Yugi-boy to forgive you!

Here you are, doing everything in your meager powers for him, as I do everything for my beloved Cynthia, and you still can't even get him to care for you, to respect and use your powers to crush his opponents as he will need to to win this tournament and lose his soul to me! Whatever will you do!

Such a wonderful little drama.

Don't think I didn't feel you last night, trying to comfort him. Don't think I didn't know what you were doing, reuniting him with his beloved Grandpa, who you both refuse to believe is gone for good!

Poor little children. Pitiful fools, trying to deny me my heart's desire. You toss away your own so easily, don't bother to labor for it even a fraction as much as I do for mine! You don't deserve the happiness you had together. I'm _so_ looking forward to when I take your soul and your puzzle and rip you two apart!

But you're doing such a good job keeping yourselves apart I have to wonder why I want to bother!

Ahahaha! Such a good show! Even better than Funny Bunny!

See how the poor lost soul struggles to duel to defend the one who hates him! See the one he would do anything to protect make a mockery of his efforts to do so by causing him to lose life points turn after turn to a duelist whose skills and powers would otherwise be no match whatsoever for his!

_Such_ a good show! So foolish of you, Yugi-boy, to struggle against the Puzzle's forces instead of wielding them!

Cynthia and I never argued like this. Cynthia and I were so, so perfectly happy together! From the instant I set eyes on her I simply knew we were soulmates.

You two are soulmates, but you certainly don't act like it. Naughty, naughty Yugi-boys!

Oh! What's this? Ms. Valentine is trying to help you? Go ahead, you certainly need all the help you can get! I _do_ want you to duel me, after all. I could probably cut a deal with you for the puzzle if you lost, even your own soul as you're just _so_ noble and feeling _so_ guilty for being about to fail those you think you care for right now, Yugi-boy, but I don't _want_ to. I want to defeat you in a duel, see the despair in your eyes and the spirit's eyes as you are reft away from each other just like Cynthia and I were separated!

It'll be _so _much fun!

I can see it now!

As you are about to be torn apart, you will realize just how much you mean to each other, how much you missed by your petty little deceptions and your foolish pride and caring for others!

What's this! You beg and plead? How amusing. I pleaded, but it was finding the Millennium Eye and my _actions_ that got me this far.

And now you are forgiven?

How _amusing_. What do you think about this, hmm spirit? Forgiven for a crime you not only didn't commit, but didn't even consider committing!

Why, I'm just trying not to crack up in my chair here, watching this soap opera. And now look, such infantile self-doubt. Don't think you can win? Why not take her soul? On no, but you're the _good_ guy and little Yugi-boy would be cross with you…

…what's this? I sense a tremendous power.

Calling a card? Well, it's certainly not against the rules. I do it myself, and I _wrote_ the rules and certainly didn't put in anything about _that._

Ah good, the two of you are working together again. And Ms. Valentine is defeated! Good show, a wonderful performance, and on to the next one!

…I have to admit, as much as I don't want to, that I'm just a bit worried by all that.

Such a tremendous power… it seemed as though it came from both of you and the Puzzle… all my research and I haven't been able to figure out exactly what the Puzzle's power _is._ Oh, they all can steal souls and influence duels, but my Eye shows thoughts, the Torc sees the future and the past, the Rod controls minds…

What is this power that is born when the two of you come together to help each other, care for each other?

Well, if it is summoned by caring it will certainly be within my grasp as I strive to regain Cynthia.

The power of love? How droll.

But you two don't truly care for each other, otherwise this whole misunderstanding wouldn't have happened! What a stupid little argument that almost cost you so, so much.

But ah well. It won't matter in the end, now will it?

I will defeat you, and any powers you unlock will simply become mine when I seize the puzzle.

I will defeat you.

Your partnership is nothing next to the power of _my_ devotion!


End file.
